A Mentor Steps In
by Eilwynn
Summary: Uzumaki Kamaboko is an out of control prank-playing hooligan with horrible grades, and also a future kunoichi. Koharu decides she cannot accept this. FemNaruto. Academy era mentor story. Training based story. Woman training woman.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note_ : This story started out in a lot of different places.

Its forerunners are trailed all over the Internet. I thought up the name Kamaboko in one place (by the way, the icon photo is of colorful little kamaboko fish cakes), the Academy training with mentor idea came to be in another place. So it's kind of all led up to this, I guess, at the risk of sounding dramatic.

Here's the first chapter. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

1.

"The Uzumaki girl is getting out of hand," Koharu said reservedly at the next Elders Meeting, from where they were sitting around the big table.

"If you'd just let me train her, I think I could -" Danzo began.

"No. That is not an option," said Hiruzen flatly, and Danzo scowled.

"Still, something must be done. She managed to line all the ANBU uniforms with itching powder the other day. Just this afternoon she put a frog in her Academy teacher's coffee," said Homura. "She's a frequent graffiti artist and she likes to set little traps for unsuspecting teachers, classmates, and villagers. It's becoming a disgrace to the village. And she has no parents to waylay her. No adult will take her in."

"And we all know why," said Hiruzen darkly, a stark reminder.

"Hokage-sama, if I may?" said Koharu. Hiruzen looked over and nodded curiously. "To have enough craftiness and strategic ability as a child to break into ANBU unscathed is actually quite remarkable. If we could find a way to use that -"

"That's what I've been saying all along!" said Danzo.

"Let me finish," Koharu continued. "We all know why Uzumaki Kamaboko does what she does. It's because she's ignored and mistreated by her fellow villagers. Why? She has no idea. She's a girl, and she's a jinchuuriki. She was doubly marked from the start. No one has told her this; we all assume she wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

"It is also widely known among this council that I know best how women are treated out there in the field as ninja. I was one of the first women out there. Give the Uzumaki girl to me. I will train her in place of the Konoha Ninja Academy. She will then rejoin the regular forces as planned."

" _You_ want to take her?" said Danzo and Hiruzen at the same time.

"We all know it is tradition for one Uzumaki woman in Konoha to pass on her knowledge to the next. Kushina is dead; so is Biwako, Hokage-sama's late wife. I am the next highest ranking woman in the village; it's only natural that I should take her place.

"Give control of the Uzumaki girl over to me. I think I know how to get her to stop misbehaving. And I can do it without taking her humanity away from her," Koharu finished proudly.

"That's a big thing to brag about," said Hiruzen, raising an eyebrow. "You truly think you can do it?"

"So she gets her and I don't?" Danzo fumed.

"Danzo, you don't even train women anyway," said Koharu scathingly. "You just want her as a power play and you know it. All you would do is turn her into a robot." Danzo fell into a sulky sort of silence. "It will only get worse if nothing is done," Koharu added to Hiruzen quietly.

Hiruzen looked down, and nodded. "Alright. I'll pass control of the jinchuuriki over to you, and make a decree saying she may train with you in place of her Ninja Academy training. She doesn't seem to be having much luck making friends among her peers anyway," he sighed. "So much for _that_ idea."

* * *

The next time the Hokage visited Kama at her apartment, she expected it to be to pass on a check or to scold her about one of her latest pranks.

It was nothing of the kind.

"Kama, this is the last time you will see me for a while," said the Hokage kindly. "I'm transferring control of you over to Hokage's advisor and village Elder Koharu."

"The old Granny?" said Kama, her eyes squinted and her head cocked as she frowned thoughtfully. Kama didn't know much about old lady Koharu. Would she hate Kama just like the others?

"Yes. She's told me to tell you she has a proposition for you, and you are to meet her in her office tomorrow at three o'clock to discuss it. I take it you know where that is?"

"And what happens if I don't show?" Kama challenged.

"That is for Elder Koharu to decide," said Hiruzen. "And between you and me?" He leaned closer. "She's a lot meaner and tougher than I am. Especially when the person she's working with is a kunoichi."

"I'm not a kunoichi yet," Kama pointed out as the Hokage went to the door.

Hiruzen actually chuckled. "That will mean nothing to her," he said back over his shoulder. "What matters to Koharu is that you plan to be."

* * *

When Koharu entered her office, a stately place decorated with quiet flower arrangements and taken up by a large desk, Uzumaki Kamaboko was already waiting for her. She was in ratty clothes, leaned back in her chair, feet up on the desk, chewing a stick of gum, but she was there.

"Ah, good, you're prompt," said Koharu briskly. "Spit out your gum; remove your feet. I will be lenient this once, as you do not know my policies."

Kama grinned and stayed right where she was, chewing slowly.

In a flash, one of the decorations in Koharu's bun of silver hair flew out and speared itself right next to Kama's foot, revealing itself to be a senbon needle. Kama gasped, flinched, and fell over in her chair.

"You see?" said Koharu calmly. "When your grounding is unstable, you fall. Now pick up the chair and sit back down."

Kama stood up warily, watching Koharu closely. Koharu sat down - and there was a loud farting noise. She'd just sat on a whoopie cushion.

Kama cackled out a high, shrieking, obnoxious laugh, pointing at Koharu. "You fell for it! You fell for it!" she sang.

Koharu looked thoughtful. "You don't have much respect for authority, do you, Kama?" she asked.

"Authority doesn't have much respect for me," said Kama, scowling, which was actually a fair enough answer. Kama couldn't have gotten much good treatment from any of the adults in her life. "Respect is earned." She lifted her chin.

"One could argue, and many have, that simply surviving in the ninja forces long enough to hit your sixties is enough to earn the highest level of respect," Koharu pointed out.

Kama paused. "Maybe on the battlefield," she said at last. "Where they _earned_ the respect."

"Well thought out," Koharu complimented her, nodding.

"Are you takin' the mickey?" Kama's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Nobody ever compliments me. _Especially_ not on my intelligence."

"You may not get good grades, Kama, but that does not make you stupid," said Koharu. "It takes great intelligence and strategic skill to pull that trick you did with the ANBU. I think people got so angry that they lost sight of your potential, and that is a compliment to you. Anger is the response that you were intending, yes? Anger and indignation?"

Kama paused, blinking big blue eyes in surprise. "Well, of course, I'm amazing," she recovered after a moment, grinning, putting her hands behind her head.

"Do not pretend at confidence, Kama, it does not become you," said Koharu flatly, and Kama froze. No one had ever called her out on that before. "Form real confidence. It takes time, but the returns are worth it."

"Look, old lady, why did you call me in here?" Kama asked, staring hard at her.

"Kama, I have given you the respect of calling you by your preferred nickname. I, in turn, would prefer to be called Koharu. That is fair, is it not?"

"... I guess… Koharu…" said Kama slowly, almost begrudgingly.

"Now, as to why you are here. Kama, what is your dream? Why did you join the Konoha Ninja Academy?" said Koharu.

"Because I want to become an amazing ninja!"

"Why?"

"Because nobody likes me and I want to prove everyone wrong about me!" said Kama insistently. She became naturally more aggressive when she said the words.

"Alright, Kama. Do you want to know _why_ everyone hates you?" Kama's eyes widened. "You are now under my control and my jurisdiction. My colleague, Hokage-sama, did not think you could handle the truth, but I'd like to give you a bit more credit than that." Koharu sat back, watching Kama carefully.

"Yes! Tell me, tell me!" Kama demanded immediately.

"Alright. It starts with the story of your parents. Sit down, for this is a long tale, and I am not going to repeat myself.

"The Senjuu are the founding clan of Konoha, in Fire Country. They had cousins, a powerful clan called the Uzumaki, who founded their own village in a coastal country known as Whirlpool. That village was called Uzu. Konoha had just recently gained control over the Nine Tailed Fox Demon of fable. But what to do with it?

"The Uzumaki had a bloodline ability that uniquely placed them to be able to seal and control demons. So it was decided that an Uzumaki woman would go to Konoha and marry a Senjuu man, in an arranged marriage, and the demon would be sealed inside her body.

"The woman chosen was Uzumaki Mito. She married the First Hokage, Senjuu Hashirama, and they gave birth to a large family. Among their descendants is the famous Tsunade of the Sannin. Mito was your great-great-aunt, Kama. Tsunade of the Sannin is your second cousin."

Kama's eyes were round with awe; she was completely riveted by a lecture for the first time.

"Mito lived a very long time, but when it was time for her to die, a new vessel would have to be chosen. Mito's grand-niece was chosen, and sent over to Konoha in a form of diplomatic gesture. Her name was Uzumaki Kushina, and she was your mother. She became a Konoha ninja, instead of becoming an Uzu one as she was meant to be.

"Kushina was made the next Kyuubi jinchuuriki, or human demon container, human sacrifice. Why does nobody know this? Because the location of the Kyuubi demon was kept very, very secret. This is S class information you are getting.

"Kushina went on to marry Namikaze Minato, the Golden Flash of Konoha and the Fourth Hokage. Your father.

"That's right. Your full name, unsealed from the S class files, is _Namikaze_ Uzumaki Kamaboko.

"The Uzumaki were destroyed, massacred, during the Third Great Ninja War, by combined Suna and Iwa forces. They were seen as too powerful to be allowed to continue. So Kushina was the only known survivor of her clan. Perhaps because of this, in the aftermath of the war, your parents decided to have a child.

"But there was a problem. Giving birth to a child weakens the jinchuuriki seal.

"Your parents were taken out of Konoha amid a large party for the birth and every precaution was taken. Unfortunately, it was not enough. The Kyuubi escaped and rampaged through half of Konoha, killing many. The only people to survive the initial blast… were you and your parents. And, well, Kushina was dying from the demon being pulled out of her body and you were an Uzumaki.

"Your parents died sealing the Kyuubi inside you.

"And of course, everyone knew this time. Everyone knew you contained the demon. In an effort to protect you from assassination attempts because of your parentage, our current Hokage-sama, Sarutobi Hiruzen, hid the knowledge of your family from everyone. People were told you were just some randomly selected orphan, given the surname Uzumaki out of respect for the Fourth's late and revered wife.

"But this, of course, just meant you were an easy target for the villagers to take out their anger on. Your parents died wanting you to be seen as a heroine, but that is not what happened. The adults needed someone to blame for all this death and destruction, and they chose you. They still do, many years later.

"There is one final piece of the puzzle. None of the children your age know any of this. That is because a law was passed stating no one is allowed to talk about your status as a jinchuuriki. The law does not specifically apply to you - you are the only one who can tell whoever you choose about your past, your family, and your history.

"But no one else can. So the children your age don't know. They simply hate you because it's what their parents do. That is the unexpected, but sad truth."

Kama sat there, stunned, somber. "... Th-thank you… thank you for telling me… Koharu-sama…" she whispered at last. Koharu did not miss the new suffix. Then: "Where is my seal?"

"It appears on your stomach when you channel chakra."

Kama lifted her shirt, put her hands in a hand seal, channeled chakra - and her eyes widened. A black swirl seal had appeared over her navel. "It's really there," she whispered.

"Here is what I propose from all this mess," said Koharu, steepling her hands. "You said you wanted to prove people wrong about you. I think that is a noble goal, and furthermore, what your parents would have wanted.

"There will be people who will arrive later on in your life to help you learn your father's techniques and control the Kyuubi. But what about for now? What about your mother's clan? What about your basic ninja abilities?

"That's where I come in.

"I have high-access clearance to all of the Uzumaki clan scrolls your mother brought over from Uzu," said Koharu, "perhaps some of the last surviving Uzumaki clan scrolls in the world.

"I will take over your training. I will train you in my ninja way, and I will help you learn your mother's clan's abilities. You will train with me in place of your Academy training, and then take the Genin Exam at twelve with everybody else.

"If you accept, that is. Do you accept?"

"... Why are you doing all this for me?" Kama asked at last, looking, for a moment, much older and more suspicious than her age should allow.

"Because you are an invaluable asset to the village," said Koharu. "And right now you are going to waste. Your Academy teachers spurn you and you waste your time angering people.

"Also… I feel a certain duty to your mother. It is a Konoha tradition that one Uzumaki woman passes the clan knowledge on to the next. She is not here, so I must take her place. Therefore… if you would like… you may call me Granny." Koharu was reserved.

Kama's eyes had widened. "... I accept," she said at last, smiling, blinking back tears. "Granny. There are no friends or inspirational teachers waiting for me back at the Academy anyway. I want to become strong. So, if you can get me there - I'll take it," she said, shrugging, laughing breathily like her heart was breaking.

"Very well," said Koharu. "And so, your training begins. There is one condition."

Kama straightened. "And that is?"

"You must stop playing pranks. I know that sounds awful on the surface," said Koharu when Kama looked horrified, "but listen and I think you will understand. You play pranks to be acknowledged, yes? Well, I have acknowledged you. Your untrained skills have impressed me. I acknowledge you as a human being worthy of respect."

"... K-Koharu-sama," Kama began, extremely emotional.

"I am not done," said Koharu stoically. "I acknowledge you, and I will train you to be so strong and so good and so steadfast that other people will eventually have to acknowledge you. So I want you to focus on that - on your training. That is a far better way to gain acknowledgment than the hatred you get through pranks, I hope you'll agree?

"Every time you want to play a prank or laugh at someone, instead do what I've taught you. Train. You are barred from entering shops? Train. You get abuse in the streets? Train. You are harassed because you are a girl? Train, and I will teach you how to fight back against that harassment. You feel alone? Train. Other children spurn you? Train. Teachers look down on you and refuse to give you information? Train, and ask me for the information. Train hard. That is the only true way to make people see who you really are.

"You also play pranks when you are bored, yes? I hope you will be too busy training to become bored. But I will also teach you hobbies and self management techniques that you can do _instead_ , that are fun, to avoid being bored. Would you like me to teach those techniques to you?"

Kama nodded eagerly.

"Good," said Koharu firmly. "Then no pranks. Not under my watch. Once we get this training started, if I see or hear of you playing a prank, the whole thing stops. It is a disgrace to the village that it is our new goal to impress. So if you do one, that tells me that you don't really want to impress the villagers. Understand?"

Kama nodded after a moment. Mostly because of the last thing Koharu had said. _Our_ new goal.

There was someone in her corner.

"Okay," she said, her eyes becoming hard and determined. "Let's do this."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Notes:_ Research credit for this chapter goes to the book _The Ninja and Their Secret Fighting Art_ by Stephen K. Hayes.

If you're looking for how I constructed Koharu's home, just look up architecture and interior decorating style quizzes online. There are some pretty good ones.

* * *

2.

After their meeting, Granny Koharu had led Kama through the streets to their "future training area."

It was interesting, walking with Granny Koharu, because she was far too revered for the villagers to give Kama any of their usual disgust. Instead, she got sidelong glances and low bows. Kama thought she liked that. Clearly, she was being trained by the right person. Finally, they arrived at what Granny Koharu identified as her home.

Granny Koharu's place was two stories plus an attic. It had a mansard roof and strong stone architecture with subtle details like rounded dormers with oval windows and flared eaves. The inside was decorated in rich wood and sophisticated greens and blues. There were lots of rolled arm sofas and tufted chairs, and fine rugs everywhere on the polished wood floor.

"Come with me," said Granny Koharu briskly, walking over to a back window.

Kama followed her and looked out. "Wow…" she whispered.

Out back were vast fields and fields for endless miles. All manner of terrain was out there, from grass fields to flower fields to forests and twisting rivers to deserts. The amount of professional gardening it must take to keep this place up was incredible.

"For training purposes," said Granny Koharu briskly. "A ninja must have all the elements in order to train. All of our training will take place either in here or out there. What?" she said when Kama stared. "I am a famous and powerful ninja. I have money.

"Bring notebooks, pens, and ninja materials, because we start tomorrow. Eight o'clock AM."

"I'm still going to have to bring _notebooks_?" Kama moaned.

Koharu suppressed an amused smile. "Don't worry, Kama. I think you'll find it's not as bad as you believe. I will help you with your academics and reading."

* * *

Kama sat down across the table from Granny Koharu with a notebook and pen. She decided to give this a chance. Granny Koharu's last lecture had been super interesting and really easy to understand. Maybe she wasn't like the Academy teachers.

Maybe.

"In the modern day, ninja are chakra laden heavy battle type soldiers," Koharu began. "They are known to charge in from the front with lots of fancy techniques. But ninja were not originally like this, and I want you to go back to our old ninja roots. So I thought we'd start with a lecture on how ninja began. This is before the Warring States period - before chakra was even discovered.

"This is the beginning.

"Ninjutsu originally means techniques involving stealth and invisibility. It is a way of combat, yes, but it is also a way of espionage. Ninja are stealthy spies, often invisible to ordinary passersby. The difference between them and ordinary stealthy spies is that they can also fight and do battle. Ninja first arose in very chaotic times, and during this period we formed high-class techniques for warfare and intelligence gathering. So, as I said: battles and spies.

"When it looked like all hope was lost, when it looked like the only way to win would threaten dishonor, that is when ninja were called in. We were the spies, we were the assassins, we were the sneaky people - we did what others could not or would not do. We restored balance. Often a few ninja could do sneakily what it would take hundreds of regular foot soldiers and thugs with weapons to achieve.

"It is a ninja's job to choose the dark, silent, and subtle over the bold, active, and forceful. You think being a ninja is all about charging forward with lots of fancy techniques? Think again. Be crafty. Be sneaky. When you're a ninja, Kama, treat every mission like it's a prank.

"Don't see what I mean?" Koharu added when Kama looked confused. "During a prank, you have to be sneaky, right? You have to outsmart the other person and trick them into falling into your trap. If you just ran at them with a bucket of paint, that wouldn't get you anywhere, would it? That is the thought behind trickery. That is the thought behind subtlety. And that is what a ninja does. We trick people into falling into our techniques. We don't just shove them into their faces.

"If you ran at your victim with a bucket of paint, maybe you would splash one person a little. But if you made it into a prank trap, and hid and watched, you could take out ten passing people easily and completely drench them.

"That is the way of the ninja. Don't be loud about your abilities. Be quiet, and put on a good act, and let the abilities do the work for you. Act stupid if you have to. Give your enemy a big surprise when you suddenly pull out your most powerful techniques."

"So ninja are basically giant pranksters with weapons?" Kama asked, confused.

Koharu looked amused. "Well," she said, "essentially, yes."

" _Cool,_ " said Kama fervently. "All I have to do is treat everything I do like a prank!"

"Precisely," said Koharu, nodding. "That is why your prankster tricks impressed me so much. They were very ninja."

Kama grinned.

"Now, to continue," said Koharu. "Part of being a good ninja is also being a good liar. You must trick someone into thinking you are harmless, correct? Deception is key. So remember that - tricks and good lying are a ninja's primary tools. Make the world seem other than what it truly is, so to speak. Hold your trump card until the last possible second.

"Say your teammate is in a fierce battle. A foot soldier would charge in dramatically from the front to help their ally. What would a ninja do?"

Kama thought for a moment, eyes squinted and head cocked. "Well, their job is to trick and lie," said Kama. "So if I think of it like a prank… a ninja would hide and help their teammate win that way? By creating a tricky, devastating attack that the enemy isn't prepared for?"

"Precisely," said Koharu, nodding and smiling. "See? You're not dumb, Kama. You're actually a good ninja." Kama smiled, brightening. She held herself back from bragging - she remembered what Granny Koharu had said about forming real confidence, and she'd noticed really confident people knew how to take compliments calmly. They did everything calmly. Granny Koharu certainly did.

Kama wanted to be like that.

"Now, seeing as you have the basic idea, here's a brief lesson in taking notes," Koharu added. "Make bullet points. Summarize what you have heard using those bullet points. Each thought or sentence is its own separate bullet point. So summarize what you have learned in a paragraph, and then make bullet points in shorthand out of each thought or sentence. You could make arrows connecting different thoughts. That way you have something to study for the future. You just have to read over those bullet points."

"I get it!" said Kama brightly in realization and then, tongue between her teeth, she began scribbling down a paragraph. Koharu watched her slowly turn the thoughts into bullet points, with arrows connecting different thoughts. Koharu noticed she made a lot of comparisons, or notes for herself that only she would understand.

Koharu pointed this last piece out. "That's very good," she said. "Keep doing that. Write down anything that will help you understand the information better - even if it sounds silly or it would only make sense to you."

Kama nodded and straightened. "I'm ready for the next piece!" she announced loudly. This was kind of fun!

Koharu was gratified that Kama seemed to be changing her opinion of learning information. She apparently benefited from personal one on one time, respect from her teacher, and being able to ask questions. Koharu also tried to put the information in simple terms and make it into a good story. All children loved hearing a good tale.

"Okay. So the next piece to being a ninja is that they should accomplish the most they can while expending the least amount of energy and exposing themselves to the least amount of risk. This means," said Koharu, when Kama looked confused, "that you should take the easiest and least dangerous path that will lead to winning. Ninja specialize in what is called 'the art of winning.' It is important to have an iron determination to win, that is true, but it is also important to note that ninja are not samurai.

"Samurai live by a rigid code of honor. Ninja don't. So they will do whatever it takes to win, even if that way is dishonorable. They always make the smartest, trickiest maneuver, even if that means, for example, killing someone who cannot fight back in their sleep. Always take the easiest, least dangerous route - as long as it leads to winning."

Kama had frowned. "I don't like that," she said. "I don't want to kill someone who can't fight back!"

"Well, no one _wants_ to, Kama," said Koharu. "But what if that person was going to send information that would lead to your village being invaded by enemy forces? Wouldn't it make the most sense to sneak in, steal the information, and kill them in their sleep? You might not _want_ to do it, but wouldn't that make the most sense? You could fight them openly - but you run the fear that you might lose and your village might be destroyed. By doing it the sneaky, dishonorable way, your village's safety is assured. Even ninja clans teach their heirs this.

"Cheat, lie, steal, kill, sneak. All perfectly acceptable methods for a ninja. What I'm saying, Kama, is that you aren't bound by some rigid code of honor. Sometimes good things happen from bad deeds. That is the way of the ninja, and that is why hiring us is so expensive and prominent in modern society. We make a lot of money and are hired quite often, and that is why. Precisely _because_ we will do whatever it takes to win."

"So… when I'm fighting someone… determination is a good thing?" Kama said. "And I should be vicious and ruthless?"

"That is precisely what I'm saying," said Koharu. "Fight vicious. Fight smart. Remember, treat everything like it's a prank. How many pranks would you have been able to pull if you'd followed all the rules and did the right thing all the time, Kama?"

"... None," Kama admitted. "So ninja don't follow all the rules? Then why do you have to at the Academy?"

"I have made that point many times in council meetings. We make students follow rules and a strict moral code and give them straightforward tests that any true ninja could trick. It makes no sense," Koharu sighed. "Remember, for a ninja, the only rule is to fight for your village or your team and to win."

"What if I come up with something that could trick one of _your_ tests and helps me win?" Kama challenged.

Koharu smirked. "Then I want you to do that. If you can trick _me_ , I'll know I've done my job," she said.

Kama's eyes widened in surprise - then she smirked. So ninja were giant pranksters. She could bring her natural sense of mischief to ninja skills.

This could be fun.

"But for female ninja, there is more," said Koharu. "Most of the powerful people in the world are still men. So think about this logically. Why would female ninja be highly valued? Think like a prankster."

Kama answered almost immediately. "Because men think women are really pretty and they fall in love with them."

"Exactly. And would an enemy fall in love with an obvious ninja?"

"No. They'd try to kill them."

"Exactly. So what must female ninja, or kunoichi, do? What ability do they have that men don't have?"

Kama thought for a moment. "They can lie," she realized. The answer was actually fairly simple. "They can pretend to be someone else, and flirt and act seductive, and get the information they need from the man. Then, when he lets his guard down… kill him."

"Exactly. Kunoichi started out in the world as actresses and spies. They are the ultimate emblem of undermining in a soft way instead of a hard way. They pretend to be an ordinary woman, make a man fall in love with them, get the needed information, and kill him. All, of course, without ever falling in love themselves."

Kama grinned. "I think I like this. So I get to act all seductive and fool the guy and laugh at him in my head?" She positively cackled.

"It's nice to know you're taking this so well. That information actually disturbs some young girls," said Koharu dryly. Kama laughed harder.

"What about with male ninja? Can I flirt with them if it lets down their guard? That's the tricky prankster thing to do, right? Throw the man off kilter?" said Kama, with a shit-eating, evil grin.

"Yes, that is a very good idea," said Koharu smoothly, knowing what she was unleashing on the future world. "We will have a whole section about seduction, so that you're positive to have all the necessary information. We will also have a section on fashion. Beauty and charm are very important."

Kama cackled again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note:_ This chapter's research credit goes to _Japanese Soul Cooking_ by Tadashi Ono and Harris Salat.

For the cooking section, I plan on explaining each kind of recipe. The individual recipes will simply be mentioned and basically described. Kama's growth will of course always be relayed, and the focus of the story will be her and Koharu.

I'm doing it this way because I don't want to copy down an entire cookbook and I doubt you want to read that either.

I thought I'd start with ramen and go into it in a little more detail, because it's Kama's love and also because she's going to learn the most about cooking in her first section. The rest of the sections should go a bit faster.

* * *

3.

"Our first official lesson," said Koharu, standing in her kitchen which was full of rounded counters, bowls of fruit, and coastal colors, "will be in cooking. Cooking is a good life skill to have. It is also good for seduction. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Also cooking is required in tea ceremony, one of the main methods of seduction in our culture, which you will learn in the future. And it's a nice accomplishment to have if you ever decide to get married."

Koharu chuckled when Kama made a face.

"Or not. However, you are not going to be learning how to make traditional, fancy dishes of tofu and cured meat and raw vegetables -" Koharu continued.

"Thank God," said Kama flatly.

"Geisha do learn this. But though many of the skills are similar, you are not a geisha. Your job is to seduce possibly for months at a time, not to act elegant and sophisticated and entertain a dinner party for a few hours. So you will learn homey comfort foods, soul foods, that fill a man's stomach with a tasty meal and make him feel secure."

"Good! That's what I want to make and eat anyway!" Kama declared decisively. "Raw vegetables and tofu are super gross!"

"Well, then you're in luck," said Koharu dryly. "No miso soup, grilled fish, and pickled vegetables for you. Now, let's begin our section on soul cooking. I will give you copies of all of the recipes we make.

"We start with ramen."

"Yay! Yay! Ramen!" Kama cheered.

"You like ramen?" Koharu asked, chuckling.

"It's my favorite!" Kama said insistently.

"Well, then you should like this section. But I bet you eat cup ramen, don't you?"

Kama nodded. "Except when I go to Ichiraku's - my favorite restaurant. It's a ramen place."

Koharu shook her head. "Ramen is so much more than that, and we're going to learn how to cook homemade ramen together, okay? Then you can do it at home." Kama nodded eagerly. "Ramen has some essential elements: rich broth it takes hours to make; fresh, springy wheat noodles; savory, mouthwatering seasonings; and toppings like slices of tender braised meat and creamy soft-boiled egg."

Kama was practically drooling.

"Yet at its heart, ramen is simple. It's down-home and down-to-earth. Some of the best ramen joints are like Ichiraku's - hole in the wall places with open kitchens and tight dining counters, run by civilian cooks in T shirts.

"There are four keys to ramen. Remember them." Kama was paying close attention. "First is the soup. It's made from pork bones, chicken bones, kombu, and/or dried, shaved bonito, cooked in a huge vat for hours or even days to tease out all the flavors. Second is the tare, a flavoring made from seasonings like soy sauce and miso. Third are the wheat noodles, which vary from straight to wavy, and from thick to thin, and from yellowish to not yellowish. And finally, there are the toppings, which traditionally include chashu, delectable slices of braised pork (or sometimes chicken); slow cooked eggs, often steeped in a soy sauce marinade; thin-sliced scallion or negi onion; spinach; pickled menma; pickled bamboo shoots; and/or sheets of nori seaweed.

"It's all prepared beforehand, thrown expertly together very quickly at the end, and voila. You have ramen."

"Koharu-sensei?" Kama raised her hand, frowning. "If ramen soup takes days to make in a special vat… how do I make it at home?"

"I've modified the original recipe to make a prototype of what's found in restaurants, something you can make at home," Koharu replied. "So that's our first recipe. I'm going to teach you how to make ramen soup and chashu at the same time. You can prepare a batch of ramen soup ahead of time, on a weekend or when you're not doing a mission, and keep it in the freezer for up to one month."

Kama nodded, taking this in. She was used to cooking and cleaning up after herself in her apartment, so these sorts of orders actually made sense to her in a way they wouldn't to most other children.

And from there, Kama learned how to make ramen soup. Kama was taught to always wash her hands before and after handling food, and individually before and after handling meat. She was clumsy with a kitchen knife at first, but with Koharu's help she managed to successfully peel and crush foods.

Next Kama learned how to cut a carrot in half, curling her fingers and thumb under so the ends didn't get cut off. She learned how to heat on the stove, what boiling looked like, and what simmering was. She learned to skim anything that accumulated on the surface, and Koharu bought her a timer so she wouldn't forget and overcook her food.

Kama learned how to strain liquid, struggling to hold up the pot and the strainer at the same time, the heat getting on her face and arms. Then she learned the somewhat disgusting technique of grinding leftover food down the garbage disposal.

At last, Koharu taught her the technique of putting the soup and the chashu in plastic tupperware containers, and storing them away in the freezer and refrigerator. Rewarming some of the food in the microwave was the last technique Kama learned for this exercise.

* * *

"Soy sauce marinade can also be stored in the refrigerator for up to one month."

For the marinade, Kama learned how to peel, trim, and chop ingredients and put them all together into a big saucepan, heating it up and then letting it cool.

"Granny," she said, looking plaintively up at Koharu, "when are we going to get to the part where we actually _make_ ramen?"

"Patience, Impatient," said Koharu. "We have one more preparation to make before we start cooking ramen recipes. Just what did we make this soy sauce for?"

Kama's eyes widened and she thought for a minute. "The eggs!" she said at last, looking back up at her Granny.

Granny Koharu smiled. "That's right. The eggs.

"So, to make the soy sauce eggs: Fill a saucepan with water and bring it to a boil over high heat. When the water boils, reduce the heat to medium.

"Use a pushpin or other stiff pin to gently open a small hole on the bottom of each egg. The rounded side is the bottom, rather than the pointy side. Be careful not to break the shell…" Granny sighed as the egg was smashed and Kama stood there sheepishly with egg yolk spilling everywhere. "... Elsewhere," she finished.

It took Kama several tries to learn how to be delicate and patient enough to not break the eggs.

"Gently place the eggs in the boiling water. Cook for five to seven minutes. For the first two minutes of cooking, use a spoon or chopsticks to spin the eggs around in the saucepan."

Yet again, to Koharu's exasperation, it took several tries for Kama to learn to be patient and gentle enough to not break the eggs. Koharu's new favorite name for Kama was Impatient. Kama started to get rebellious, until Koharu said, "Look, Kama. Everyone is a bad cook at first. It's better to make a mistake here, where it's safe, than at some point later on in life.

"That's what training is for. Making mistakes."

"... That's weird," said Kama, eyes squinted and nose scrunched up. "Everybody always made fun of me when I did stuff wrong at the Academy. Even the teachers. They all liked genius types."

"The person who never makes a mistake has never learned anything new," said Koharu. "Never forget that."

Kama became thoughtful.

"Next. When the eggs are ready, pour out the boiling water, and place the saucepan under cold, running water to cool the eggs. When the eggs are cool, peel them."

So peeling, especially of eggs, was another cooking technique Kama learned.

"Pour the marinade into a bowl and add the peeled eggs. Marinate the eggs in the refrigerator for up to twelve hours. The longer they marinate, the more pronounced the soy sauce flavor. The eggs will keep in the refrigerator for up to one week."

* * *

"Now we get to ramen recipes," said Koharu, and she smiled when Kama cheered and began jumping up and down in excitement. Uzumaki Kamaboko had this very infectious energy to her, a combination of her mother's fieriness and her Dad's bright optimism.

"First is shoyu ramen."

Shoyu ramen employed spinach and chashu meat slices as its main ingredients. Its tare was soy sauce based. Kama learned trimming, cutting, slicing, and slice-measuring techniques for this section, buying herself a measuring tape.

Kama also learned the fine art of pouring elegantly, and of decorating with garnishes properly. It took her a while to get it right, as she was clumsy and impatient a lot at first, but Koharu noticed something important: when she was doing something she loved, and was practicing it physically, Kama had a talent for working tirelessly at an art until she had it down perfectly.

"You are good at physical arts, Kama," said Koharu. "Remember that. Physical arts, from cooking to drawing to taijutsu, come very well to you when you work hard at them. If you're not getting a physical art, and you're trying at it really hard, it's probably the teacher's fault - not yours."

Kama nodded, eyes squinted as she considered this. "I'm good with visuals, too," she said after a while. "And, like, comparisons."

Koharu nodded. "We will work hard to help you incorporate those into your schooling. Often academic areas can be turned into visual schematics and flowcharts. Whenever you're having trouble with something not physical, try to make a picture or a tool or a flashcard out of it. Abacuses and counting items, for example, can be useful with math."

Kama had begun to keep a little notebook full of useful things she learned from Granny Koharu, and she wrote that down inside.

* * *

"Miso ramen is next on our list.

"Prepare the miso tare by adding one fourth of a cup of sake wine, three tablespoons of mirin, two cloves of grated garlic, and one teaspoon of grated ginger to a saucepan."

So Kama learned how to grate ingredients.

"Bring to a boil over medium heat. Remove from the heat. Add one half of a cup of Sendai miso. Whisk until the miso is well combined with the other ingredients."

Kama had fun learning to whisk, although she did make quite a mess of herself at first.

Next, for the cabbage, Kama learned to core and chop. She was also starting to get the hang of preparing all the ingredients so that the whole meal was done at once.

She put all the final ingredients together and successfully completed miso ramen.

Kama got to eat everything she made after she finished it, and she thought that was her favorite part of learning to cook. Kama had the remarkable ability to eat three large bowls of ramen by herself as a child and never get any heavier.

 _Where does it all go…?_ Koharu wondered privately to herself.

* * *

Their other ramen recipes were shio ramen, which was a kind of salty ramen with cabbage and mung bean sprouts; tan tan men, a spicy ramen filled with ground pork, chicken stock, sugar, salt, and sesame paste; nagasaki champon, a milky, soupy ramen full of seafood, pork, and vegetables; hiyashi chukka, a kind of cold noodle salad decorated with soy sauce-vinegar dressing and cucumbers; and shrimp wonton men, which was shrimp dumplings set over noodles.

Kama learned how to make dumplings, dressings, and chicken stock in these last sections.

"We've started with ramen," said Koharu at the end, "and you now have a variety of traditional homemade ramen recipes to work with. Are you ready to move on to the other kinds of food?"

"After how delicious all these recipes were? Hell yes!" said Kama excitedly. "This is the best lesson ever!" Kama _loved_ food. This was her dream ninja lesson.

Koharu sighed and contemplated telling Kama not to swear, but decided it would be fruitless and not worth the bother.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Notes:_ Research credit for this chapter goes to _Japanese Soul Cooking_ by Tadashi Ono and Harris Salat.

I tried not to repeat the mistakes I made in the first draft of last chapter. I made this chapter into a series of drabbles, experimenting with a new style, one hopefully easier to read.

This chapter finishes up the cooking section.

I also thought I'd address here a question someone had about Kama's training: It is all meant to be in a sort of timeless, disordered fashion. All these lessons are interweaving with each other and it will not be clear how much time has passed until she hits the end of her training.

* * *

4.

Koharu would introduce each set of new recipes, and then they would begin.

"Our next set of recipes is for gyoza. Gyoza are crescent-shaped dumplings, and the classic ones are filled with ground pork, cabbage, garlic, and garlic chives. They are cooked using a technique called gyoza yaki, a frying-and-steaming technique that toasts the skin on one side of the dumpling and steams it on the other. Gyoza are usually dipped in some sort of tangy, spicy sauce."

"I've had gyoza!" Kama announced.

"I bet you have," said Koharu, nodding. "What's the usual cry at ramen joints?"

"Ramen, gyoza, beer!" Kama parroted.

"Very good. You can't have beer yet, so we're going to substitute green tea, which also goes very well with warm, filling, homey comfort foods."

So Kama learned how to make tea, particularly green tea, brewing the hot water and then mixing it with the green tea. She'd never tried green tea before, but it soon became her favorite drink. Green tea with soupy ramen noodles became her favorite dinner, especially on cold, rainy days, and she would also often drink green tea when relaxing at home doing something fun.

"That will come in handy later for tea ceremony," Koharu-sensei commented.

And, of course, she also learned gyoza, which was very tasty. There was classic pork and cabbage gyoza - during which she learned how to wring water out of wet cabbage - but also shrimp gyoza with mushrooms and shiso leaves, chicken gyoza poached and put into a soup, and vegetarian gyoza full of tofu, mushrooms, miso, and pinenuts.

"It's important that you know at least one vegetarian dish in case you ever have to cook something for some bizarre man who is kind enough to believe in animal rights yet has enemies who want to assassinate him," said Koharu dryly, and Kama snickered.

She learned how to make dipping sauces, flour and fold gyoza dumplings, make homemade soup, and stem all sorts of things from mushrooms to leaves in this section.

Kama probably had the most fun with the flouring. She got it all over her face and hands and threw flour everywhere, giggling, and no amount of scolding from Koharu seemed capable of getting her spirits down.

* * *

Curry was next.

"Curry is a thick, mildly spicy stew made with meat, root vegetables, and sometimes fruit to sweeten, eaten with rice. It's unusual for always being eaten with a spoon. And it's the ultimately customizable dish - even more than with ramen, you can put anything you want in curry."

As with gyoza, they started with the traditional, retro curry, with beef, apple, and the traditional root vegetables. But they didn't stop there. Military curry was next, and it included pork, various sauces, honey, ketchup, cheese, black coffee, and potato starch. Then there was lamb curry with browned onions, seafood curry (very good served over udon noodles), miso curry, and a soupy medicinal curry.

Curry slowly became Kama's other favorite food - the soupy medicinal curry, in particular, was her favorite recipe, and also good for illnesses and cold nights. She found the spiciness to pleasantly sting her eyes and open her nose and mouth. Spice did not overpower her as it did some other people.

So far under her belt, she had one good drink, two good dinner items, and one good lunch/snack item. But Koharu's cooking lessons were far from over.

* * *

"Tonkatsu is our next lesson," said Koharu, all-business. "Sliced pork cutlets covered in crunchy panko breadcrumbs. Cabbage and worcestershire sauce usually accompany it."

They learned how to make the breadcrumbs first, and the various dipping sauces. Then came classic tonkatsu, as had become the norm, followed by rolled katsu with yuzu kosho (a citrus peel-chili combination sauce) in the center of each roll, a paper-thin type of katsu called waraji katsu, and menchi katsu (which was more like a patty).

In this section, Kama got very violent, which she had great fun with. She pounded meat, beat eggs, and learned how to use oil in a cast-iron skillet.

"Fire! Pounding! Beating! Yeah!" she kept chanting, and Koharu sweat-dropped. Kama had far too much fun beating food and making lots of loud noise.

* * *

"Furai and korokke are our next meals," said Koharu, "and they are going to be taught together.

"First is furai. It's seafood and vegetables covered in breadcrumbs, served with cabbage, tartar sauce, and salads. So a dish of furai and a salad could on its own be a whole meal."

Iwashi furai was made with sardine, while kaki furai was made with oyster and ebi furai was made with shrimp.

For this section, Kama learned how to despine and open up fish for cooking, and prepare oysters. (Squid and octopus were also common kinds of seafood to cook with. Kama became an expert in disgustingly textured seafood.) She at the same time learned how to make tartar sauce and several different salads, including tomato salad.

"I don't like salad," Kama declared. "So in order to make it tasty, I'm going to do this!" Koharu's eyes widened as she poured about ten tons of salt, pepper, and dressing into the salad she was making.

"Korokke, meanwhile," said Koharu, "is chopped up meat, vegetables, or seafood, formed into a log or patty, coated in breadcrumbs, and deep fried until golden brown."

"So it's a lot like the others," said Kama thoughtfully.

"It's a combination of some other foods we've been making, yes," said Koharu, nodding.

Potato korokke was made of potatoes, meat, and cream. Kama had to do several tries before perfecting this one, because the potato couldn't be cooked too moist or the korokke patty would fall apart. She found immediately that there was lots of butter in korokke, which she thought could only be a positive.

Curry rice korokke was fairly self explanatory - it was exactly what it sounded like - and kani cream korokke was crab and a kind of bechamel cream sauce formed together into a patty. Whole milk was included in kani cream korokke, giving it a kind of heavy, creamy texture.

* * *

"Kara-age is next on our list," said Koharu. "It's basically any ingredient seasoned in flour or potato starch, often marinated, before being dunked in oil and fried. I would like to add in at this point that many of these recipes we've been discussing would make good picnic, finger, or sandwich foods, and would be good in bento boxed lunches."

Tatsuta-age was slices of chicken leg, fried and decorated with lemon and other seasonings. Ika-age was deep fried squid, flavored with yuzu kosho, the citrus-chili sauce of before. Nagoya tebasaki was spicy chicken wings with red miso and soy sauce. Sesame chicken was chicken coated in sesame seeds, and ginger, among other things. Fish kara-age was a spicy seafood dish, using sea bass in the way Koharu-sensei taught it.

In this section and the surrounding ones, Kama learned how to steam rice. Rice was an essential side dish to most meals in her culture, and she formed a love for jasmine rice with butter and salt.

With this subtle bit of innovation, Koharu saw that Kama was improving as a cook. She almost never needed to learn a new cooking technique anymore, and she could follow the recipes more and more on her own. It helped that she'd begun to cook her own food at home, giving her extra practice.

* * *

They went through more: tempura, battered vegetables and seafood - those kinds of dishes were always good for Kama, as she didn't get her fruits and vegetables in any way other than cooked dishes - and okonomiyaki, a kind of pancake griddled with cabbage, pork, ramen noodles, fried eggs, and dried shaved bonito. Also soba noodles and udon noodles, and donburi, which was a lot of more traditional cooked, cured, or raw foods all piled together in one dish over a bowl of rice.

"Cheap and good for busy people," Koharu-sensei commented.

Embarrassingly, Kama's favorite udon noodles were kitsune udon, named after her demonic namesake. Koharu teased her mercilessly for this, much to Kama's irritation, and their bickering signified how well they had gotten to know and respect one another.

Stir-fried and sauteed dishes were next, from steak to pork to rice to noodles to chicken. And they finished off with some dishes imported from mysterious overseas places, which had been modified to suit the appetites of the Elemental Countries. (Kama's favorites were the pasta dishes, in true alignment with how much she loved ramen.)

Yes, they went through many more dishes. But by that point Kama didn't need Koharu's help so much anymore. She really did have it down.

* * *

At the end of it all, Kama had become a master chef, and she continued to practice those skills throughout her home in the coming years. As a last bit of teaching, Koharu took her around the grocery store and pointed out healthy things that didn't have to be cooked: toast, for example, or yogurt, or milk and cereal. Kama knew a great deal about eggs by this point, so eggs were another option for her breakfast.

"Now that you have a good handle on cooking and eating big meals," said Koharu, "... we get to exercising."

Kama jumped up and down. "You mean ninja fighting?!"

"No," said Koharu, and she smiled when Kama sagged, pouting. "Remember: we have to get you in shape first. I will not have you become one of those wimpy kunoichi who can't run and have no upper arm strength.

"So we start with an exercise regimen, a rigorous one which you should keep with you in the mornings throughout your ninja years. Use these skills I'll teach you for the rest of your life. They'll make you stronger."

Kama perked up at the word 'stronger.' She was ready to start more physical, traditional ninja training.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Notes:_ Research credit for this chapter goes to _The Ninja and Their Secret Fighting Art_ by Stephen K. Hayes.

I'd been getting a lot of pretty negative reviews, and as some of you may know, I posted up a brief note asking if people were still interested in the story... And I was blown away by the response I got! I got so much positivity, some good constructive criticism, and I will be continuing with the story. You guys are amazing!

Hopefully your request for more development in this chapter has been fulfilled. I have the next several chapters all planned out and filled with lots of interesting character development and solidifying friendship not only between Koharu and Kama... but between Kama and someone who's introduced in this chapter. ;)

The training continues! As you will see, the love of and ability to cook good food emphasized in the last two chapters kind of does become important here...

* * *

5.

They started physical conditioning with Koharu taking Kama around and buying her exercise clothes.

"Comfortable clothes and shoes are important," said Koharu. "So is loose cotton underwear. If you're going to work out, we have to find you good workout clothes."

Not a single shop-owner dared to deny Kama entry with Koharu at her side. Kama heard whispers in the streets as they passed.

"The grand lady is taking in the demon brat?"

"The urchin? Really?"

"And she's acting so well-behaved… Look…"

"I know, we haven't heard anything from her in a while, have we?"

"Well, with Lady Koharu by her side? Of course not! Finally! Hokage-sama has come to his senses!"

Soon enough Kama was stalking down the street with her teeth gritted. "I really want to 'train' the frigg outta these assholes…" she muttered to Granny Koharu.

Koharu didn't even look down at her. She kept her back straight and her chin held high. "Act like I do," she said with scathing dignity, "like most people are not even worth your time. They are mere annoyances. Like flies."

So Kama started giving people skeptical, annoyed looks, like they were way younger than her. It was amazing how many people suddenly looked down, unable to meet her eye. Pretty soon she was walking with pride, ignoring everybody. This "having real confidence" thing felt much better and was much more satisfying than she'd thought it would be.

Sometimes, Granny Koharu gave good advice.

And she had fun with Granny Koharu, trying on new shoes and clothes, testing them out for her Granny to see. She chose light-up sneakers and pink and black workout clothes, and they were actually nice because the rich Granny Koharu bought them for her. Her underwear had wild animal prints and polka dots all over it, because the ordinary underwear "was too boring."

Granny Koharu gave a long-suffering sigh, but it was mostly for show. She bought Kama the wild clothes anyway.

Kama tied her hair up out of the way, and then she was ready to work out.

"Eat a nice big meal before you come to my house to work out tomorrow," said Granny Koharu, "and eat a nice big meal back at home that night. Remember, if you don't eat and then try to work out, you could faint."

"Which would be embarrassing," said Kama matter of factly.

Koharu sighed. "Well, yes, but my point was that it would also be _unhealthy_."

"And embarrassing."

"Fine. And embarrassing. Eat healthy and work out every day; never try out fad diets, do we understand each other? They're not healthy for a working ninja." Granny gave her a stern look.

Kama nodded. "I love food too much to ever give it up anyway," she said.

"Good to know. And bring a nice, big water bottle with you tomorrow. Keeping hydrated while you work out is also important."

* * *

So they met in an empty grass field near a bubbling brook on Granny Koharu's property during the summers, and in the local gym during the winters. (They got a _lot_ of stares at the local gym.) And they started what Granny Kohary called "physical conditioning."

Kama did everything - from runs, to stairs and hill climbing, to calisthenics, to yoga, to weight lifting, to rock climbing and swimming. Granny Koharu went through each type of exercising with her, teaching her the ins and outs and even helping her learn how to swim. At the same time, she was a harsh taskmistress. She would stand off to the side, barking orders with an iron face, or sometimes she would work out with Kama - just to show her that a little old lady could do way better than she could right now.

Kama fell down, ran out of breath, and stopped with her hands on her knees a _lot_ at first.

Granny Koharu would challenge her. "Don't think you can handle this?"

But challenging Kama was the quickest way to make her lose her temper, and making Kama lose her temper was the quickest way to get her motivated.

 _"Hell yeah I can handle this!"_ she would yell, fierce determination filling her blue eyes, and she would push herself to her feet and go back to running again. Slowly, the other people at the gym seemed to form a respect for her. She had amazing stamina and adrenaline, an Uzumaki gift according to Koharu - which made Kama kind of proud of herself, like she had a connection to her Mom - and her fierce determination to get stronger, her will to never give up or slow down, quickly made her a powerhouse.

And yeah, sure, she was really stiff and sore a lot at first, but Koharu recommended techniques for cutting down on stiffness and soreness after workouts and pretty soon Kama's physical prowess had improved vastly. The burn in her muscles when she worked out became kind of fun, the adrenaline helped her feel better. It helped that she took Koharu's advice - she ate a lot.

It was advice Kama was happy to follow.

* * *

One afternoon she was relaxing in her apartment sipping a cup of green tea, when there was a knock on her front door.

She opened it curiously, and a little girl was standing there. She had pale grey eyes, short blue-black hair, and very nice clothes.

"Hey," said Kama curiously, leaning against the doorframe. "You look familiar. Academy?"

"W-we were in the same class," the girl said, nodding, her fingers twisting around each other. "Y-you may not remember, but the day we all signed up for the Academy, you defended me from some bullies and -"

"Oh, yeah, you're that girl!" Kama laughed. "I told the lead bully he probably had a tiny dick and he beat the shit out of me instead of you!" She laughed louder at the memory.

"Y-yes. He was three years older than you and it was incredibly brave that you even tried to fight back… M-my name is Hyuuga Hinata, and you may not know me, but I r-really looked up to you and ever since I have noticed you always… And… and… Did you quit the Academy?!"

Kama blinked in surprise. Hinata looked genuinely distraught.

"B-because even though you weren't very good, don't let those haters get to you! I-I think you're going to be a great ninja! Even if you make lots of mistakes at first!"

Hinata had leaned forward earnestly.

Kama smiled. "Well," she said in amusement, "I'm actually getting private tutoring instead."

"O-oh… Congratulations…" Hinata suddenly looked like she wanted to curl up in a hole and die in embarrassment. Her face had turned beet-red.

"But hey. I really appreciate what you said," Kama added. Hinata looked up hopefully. "I didn't think anyone back at that place believed in me. Now at least Granny Koharu does, and I guess you always did too. Why didn't you ever come up and talk to me? You wanna come in?"

Kama stood aside for Hinata's entry.

Hinata gave a slow smile. "Oh… okay…" she said softly. Shyly, she crept into the apartment.

"So what's your favorite thing to do?" Kama asked.

"Oh… well… I like to pick and press flowers," said Hinata uncertainly.

"Yeah?" Kama smiled. "I bet we could do that together. Come on in." The front door closed.

And that was how Uzumaki Kamaboko and Hyuuga Hinata became friends.

* * *

"There are certain exercises all child ninja must go through before they begin standard Academy-level fighting," said Koharu. "This is the first."

Kama stared at the narrow horizontal pole placed precariously over the brook.

"I don't know about this, Granny," she said. "I'm not a tightrope walker."

"If you can't do this, you're not allowed to become a ninja."

"Seriously?!"

"Seriously," said Granny Koharu firmly, nodding once.

So Kama sighed, took a deep breath, and began placing one foot before the other, walking across the pole, swaying and turning - And she fell in with a splash, getting wet.

"Goddamnit!" She splashed, sitting upright. "What if I hit my head?!"

"You will not hit your head."

"What if I _do_ hit my head?!"

"Then you will die."

"Goddamnit!" Kama swam over to the side, got out, dripping wet - and turned back to the damn pole to try walking across it again.

The exercises did not improve as time went on. Kama also had to run up steep inclines, leap over bushes without falling into the bush (leading to lots of thorns in her butt and sides at first - "Why did you pick the bushes with the thorns?!" she demanded of an implacable Koharu), strike and kick bundles of straw attached to posts for hours on end, hang from trees for even longer hours on end (testing the very limits of Kama's patience), and run long distances.

She complained loudly throughout most of it, swearing like a sailor, but she kept on practicing the exercises under Koharu's tutelage, getting more and more precise and more and more vicious as time passed.

Her figure showed her new physical skill. She became lithe, muscular, and deadly - now she just needed the ninja training to go along with it.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Notes:_ For those who don't know, I also wrote a brand-spanking-new chapter five. A real, story-related one this time.

* * *

6.

"There are two types of flower arrangement," said Koharu one day in her home, "ikebana and chabana."

Kama raised her hand. "Is this where I get to learn about poison?" she asked.

"No. Poison and herbal medicine will have its own section. You look disappointed," said Koharu, when Kama slumped over.

"Well, it's just - I don't get any of this complicated, feminine, creative stuff," Kama muttered, looking down.

For a moment, Koharu was genuinely sympathetic.

"Can I be honest with you, Kama?" she said. "I didn't think I was going to be any good at the feminine arts either. I was quite a severe, serious young woman, with no sense of the weaknesses in human nature. But look how far I've come."

Kama looked up. "Really?" she said.

Koharu smiled. "Really. I think you're going to be better at being 'girly' so-called than you give yourself credit for. Imagine you're sending a message to a boy you're trying to seduce. Pick flowers that send that message."

Kama frowned thoughtfully.

* * *

"So, Hinata," she said the next time they met at Kama's place to press flowers into their albums, "I'm learning the art of flower arrangement. You're really good with flowers and traditional feminine arts. I don't get it. Can ya help?"

"Why, Kama-chan, you already have it," said Hinata in surprise.

"I do?"

"Yes. The only rule is that you have to pick flowers that look nice together, have a good combination of proportions, and make the person feel good." Hinata smiled gently. "I'm good at making people feel better. That's why I excel at it."

"I thought there were lots of important rules when it came to flower arrangement," said Kama in surprise.

"Well, there are a few," said Hinata in surprise, nonplussed. "But it's like with any art. You learn rules so you can break them."

Kama was good at filling Hinata with confidence, but Hinata was good at bringing out Kama's softer side.

* * *

And there were rules.

According to Koharu:

"Chabana is the art of arranging seasonal flowers the way they would be found in nature. It is used in tea ceremony.

"Ikebana is used when sending a bouquet individually. And it is more like an artificial sculpture made of plants, and the plants have to be set into a special tool that holds them upright and in place. The way the plants are set should create little geometrically correct triangles, and the plants must be shaped and bent according to a certain skeletal structure."

Kama raised her hand. "What does the structure look like?" she asked, frowning.

"It depends on which style you are working with," said Koharu briskly - which of course just made the whole thing more confusing.

Koharu showed Kama several different styles, as well as different techniques for bending and shaping plants - which one could only do in ikebana. Kama learned a great deal about geometry the hard way, and she had to model each style she learned at least once for Koharu-sensei, picking special flowers and vases and trying to get them to look pleasant and say a certain message and also go along with the skeletal structure chosen.

Then came chabana. Koharu took Kama out to the flower field behind her house, and had her pick flowers and try to make them look 'natural', the way they would be found in nature - yet also beautiful.

At last, Kama could pick one style of flower arrangement and make her own bouquet. And this, bizarrely, was the hardest part.

"Let your true personality shine through in your work," Koharu recommended, so Kama took her advice.

She tried to imagine she was going to seduce a boy. How would she go about it? Well, she would be loud and blunt about it. Honest. Colorful. Very flirtatious. A bit wild.

She chose a wild, crazy, modern style of flower arrangement to work with, took Hinata's advice and tried to choose flowers that looked good together proportionally, and then chose the most colorful, loud, flirtatious kinds of flowers she could imagine and put them all together in an eye-catching display like they were being blown backward in a high wind.

The vase chosen was gold encrusted bamboo, borrowed from Koharu herself.

"That's going to be a ridiculous-looking arrangement," said former know-it-all classmate Yamanaka Ino knowingly from behind the flower shop counter on the day Kama bought the flowers.

"Fuck you!" sang Kama cheerfully, and she walked out of the store with her head held high.

She heard Ino gasp from behind her as the door swung shut. _"Rude!"_

* * *

"I call it Kama-style," said Kama proudly in front of her bouquet the next day, as Koharu sweat-dropped. Still…

"I cannot deny: it is not shy about its flirtatious feelings and it suits you," said Koharu. Kama beamed proudly. She thought she might show Hinata-chan later… "Oh, and Kama? It's very feminine," Koharu added gently. "Perhaps you are more girly and creative than you think."

Kama paused, and then smiled a little more shyly, blushing. "Yeah," she said, ducking her head. "Guess I am."

"Now." A gleam came into Koharu's eye. "Let's work on your concept of yourself as unintelligent."

Kama swallowed. _Uh-oh._

* * *

"You are going to master the most complicated mental ninja subject imaginable," said Koharu matter of factly, sitting across the table once more from Kama. "Codes and ciphers."

She slammed the books down in front of a dreading Kamaboko.

"Codes are when you use one word to say other words," said Koharu. "One word or phrase has some meaning. So 'sparrow' could mean 'the enemy has arrived'."

"... Kay," said Kama at last, suspicious at how easy this was.

"Ciphers are when you use a mathematical algorithm to find which symbols in a message mean which other symbols." Koharu let the other shoe drop, and Kama groaned and put her head on her arms. "No whining! Take a look at this."

Koharu put a chart full of cipher in front of Kama. "I will go through the math step by step with you, until you can decide for yourself which symbols mean which other symbols."

And from there Kama found she was… surprisingly good at ciphers. Once she had the algorithm memorized and the charts in front of her… it was easy. The chart demystified itself before her and she had fun puzzling it out, finishing in a matter of minutes before too long.

"There are two reasons you are good at this," said Koharu. "First, because it is visual learning, which we have already said you are good at. And second, because ciphers are much like seals - which it is your birthright to be good at.

"If you like these, you would probably also like crossword and sudoku puzzles," Koharu offered. "No, I'm serious," she said when Kama stared. "You may in fact be quite good at visual puzzles."

Then came coding. The problem with coding was that you had to memorize large sections of coding very quickly - then come back to your teacher five minutes later and recite the code you'd just learned like it was nothing. Then ten minutes later. Then fifteen minutes later.

But Koharu had a trick for this as well. "Stomp your feet, one then the other, as you recite each part of the code. Come up with a stomping pattern for the code. Then stomp your feet later as you try to remember it."

Kama tried this - and found her memory vastly improved.

"That is because we are involving kinesthetic, or physical and tactile learning, into the learning process," said Koharu. "Which you are also good at. Do you see now, Kama? Do you see that you are not stupid?"

"But I just used tricks for all of it," said Kama, blinking in surprise.

"Yes, Kama," said Koharu in exasperation. "Unless they are a certified genius, _that's what everyone does._ "

"... I'm smart," said Kama softly in realization, staring ahead of herself. "I'm smart and I'm girly. HA! Ha! Look at me, world! Watch me go!" She began jumping around, cheering. Koharu merely smiled and shook her head wearily.

Hinata listened patiently, smiling, as Kama raved about her new revelation the next day. Koharu seemed to be good for Kama, she thought - far better than all those sneering Academy teachers.

By proxy, Hyuuga Hinata formed respect for Utatane Koharu. **  
**


	7. Chapter 7

7.

"One thing I want to emphasize to you, Kama," said Koharu one day, "is that ninja are also human beings."

Kama's eyes scrunched up. "What do you mean?" she asked innocently. "Of course they are."

Koharu smiled sadly. "There is an idea in this world that ninja are just emotionless weapons, tools to be used and then discarded once their purpose is finished," she said. "Danzo on the council would have us all believe that. He would have us all be emotionless weapons.

"The way I see ninja, and the way Hokage-sama himself sees ninja, is really very different. Ninja must keep their emotions in check on the battlefield and complete their mission, yes, but conversely in private ninja are also allowed to be human. They are allowed to release their feelings, grieve, feel joy and pain.

"Never forget that.

"So these next few sessions are going to focus on you as a human being, Kama. I want you to be a well-rounded human, in addition to being a well-rounded ninja. And we start with spirituality. A ninja goes out there onto the field knowing they could die every day. So I want to tell you about Zen Buddhism, the predominant spirituality in our culture, and what it believes happens to us after death."

"... Okay," said Kama at last. "I don't know much about Buddhism. No one ever taught it to me."

"Buddhism believes that we are blocked from achieving true inner peace by cravings. We crave to live forever, we crave not to feel pain, we crave sensory pleasure."

"And those are bad things?" Kama asked in confusion.

"Having those things will not bring you the peace you desire, Kama," said Koharu. "That is the point. Feeling pain is necessary to experience joy. Sensory pleasure is only temporary. And no one is meant to live forever. We want to live forever because we cling to some permanent idea of the 'I', the 'me', when in reality that me can change, over and over and over again.

"Zen Buddhism teaches that our essence dies, and then is reincarnated into a new life, over and over and over again. Eventually, we achieve enlightenment, but according to Zen even then we keep being reborn - so we can teach other people enlightenment. People change with the days. To want to cling to one life and some permanent, fixed idea of yourself is not how the world works."

"What is enlightenment?" Kama asked.

"Enlightenment, or Nirvana, is a state of peace we all work to achieve. A state where you achieve an empty kind of clarity - usually through an enlightened life and meditation."

"So… what's an enlightened life?" challenged Kama. This just kept getting more and more intricate.

"An enlightened life is a compassionate one, one where we always work with a child's or beginner's mind, which is free of arrogance, self consciousness, prejudices, and assumptions. An enlightened life is one where we kindly, calmly, and compassionately consider ourselves and other people on an equal level. Peace, harmony, purity, tranquility - the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism."

"What about when someone does something wrong?" Kama asked.

"For that, we have the idea of karma," Koharu responded smoothly. "Except to protect those we love, we need do nothing to other people who do bad things. Eventually, the universe will balance itself. One day, their bad deed will come back to bite them in some life. They reap their own punishments in equal measure to what they have done. This is difficult to keep in mind sometimes, but it is true.

"Buddhists follow what is called the Eightfold Path. This should keep you from getting bad karma. Right View - to believe in Buddhist teachings such as these. Right Resolve - to decide to follow Buddhist teachings such as these. Right Speech - no lying, rudeness, gossip, or divisive speech. Right Conduct - no killing or injuring, no stealing, no rape or sexual misconduct. Right Livelihood - don't be gaudy or greedy, take only what you need. Right Effort - try to be a good person; Zen teaches that once you try, you have already succeeded. Right Mindfulness and Right Meditation sort of go together - the idea is that you can't change the past and you don't know whether you'll have tomorrow, so you should just focus on today and exist in the present moment, doing as much as you can here."

"How do beliefs like these gel with ninja life?" Kama asked.

"Konoha tries to reconcile the two," said Koharu. "We teach, for example, never to do something negative or kill someone unless you feel you have to. We teach to respect our friends and allies and protect our teammates and families. Some other Hidden Villages call Konoha overly idealistic because of this."

"... But I like that," Kama decided. "I like the idea of ninja being humans who try to do the right thing a lot better!"

Koharu offered a small smile. "So do I," she admitted. "Now, let us try meditation."

* * *

And so Koharu tried to teach Kama meditation.

Kama had lots of trouble. She kept fiddling, tensed, her eyes squeezed shut, popping an eye open every so often to see if she was fooling Koharu, who was meditating across from her.

At last, Koharu sighed without opening her eyes. "Kama. You're trying too hard."

Kama opened her eyes in surprise, relaxing. "What?"

Koharu opened her eyes as well. "Meditation should be natural and relaxing. You shouldn't struggle against thoughts. Instead, let them come and go in your mind, and in between return to your body and your breathing. Just sit and let yourself exist in the present. Enjoy the birds chirping outside if you want to.

"Meditation is about letting things come and go. That is why many practitioners meditate when they feel pain and need to heal. Meditation forces you to open yourself up to the possibility of healing, and feel pain without trying to analyze where it came from or figure it out. This, eventually, leads to true healing."

Kama looked thoughtful.

"Just try to meditate. Remember, once you try, you have succeeded. Is there something else bothering you?" she added knowingly.

Kama looked down, embarrassed. "Well… I don't really want to be the kind of person who meditates for hours every day…"

"Neither do I," said Koharu, surprising Kama. "Those people are excited for a hobby or a fad. True Zen practitioners try to practice the calm, compassionate, present-in-the-moment Zen mindset in their daily lives, and perhaps meditate once a week or whenever they feel the need. Make it a small, regular part of your life."

After this… meditation came a little easier.

* * *

Koharu also showed her the local Zen temple. It was in the dark green forests surrounding Konoha village, a grand traditional gold lined building with a tranquil pond, surrounded by beautiful natural gardens. The inside was lovely, with shoji screen doors and a gold statue of Buddha.

They visited two times. First in a private ceremony. They offered flowers, food, and incense before the altar and prayed silently. Those items would later be donated to the homeless.

The second time, they attended a teaching with a Buddhist priest. Everyone stood when he entered, and when he left, and in between he talked about a Buddhist teaching and the whole group prayed together.

It was a very quiet, respectful place where every action was deliberate and had meaning. Kama also noticed something else - though other people attending temple gave her a wide berth at first, no one was cruel to her, and once she proved herself to be respectful nobody paid her any notice anymore.

Kama found she got more comfort from religion than she thought she would. It was nice: having a belief of an afterlife, having a moral code to follow, having a peaceful place to attend and a place to turn to with the big questions.

Not much of a reader to begin with, but curious, she even purchased and started reading scripture. It was complicated at first, but she tried. And once you tried, you had succeeded.

* * *

Kama told Hinata about her newfound discoveries, and Hinata recommended something Kama hadn't thought of.

"I have a shrine for my late mother in my bedroom," said Hinata. "You could put up a shrine in your apartment to your parents."

So Kama asked for Granny Koharu's help, and they set up a little shrine for Kama's parents that she could burn incense for in her living room. Granny Koharu even gave her a picture of each of her parents to put on the shrine. Kama found she had her mother's curving face and delicate features, but her father's light honey gold hair and electric blue eyes and tan skin. Her father had been very handsome, her mother pretty with long brilliant red hair. The playful whisker markings on the cheeks were all Kama though - perhaps a result of being conceived near a fox demon.

She would sit before the shrine, just drinking in their images almost hungrily. Pain and joy were all mixed up inside her. Seeing them, suddenly it all became more real. What would it have been like, to be raised by her parents?

She burned incense and prayed for them often.

Through Zen Buddhism, Kama changed once again. Through meditation and scripture, she learned calm, she learned to smile. Hers became a smiling, confident, bubbly, even girly kind of demeanor, but with a smart viciousness hidden underneath it.

* * *

Koharu taught her other spiritual things.

"The three ninja vices for a kunoichi are alcohol, money, and men," Koharu said firmly. "Never give in or fall prey to any of them. They only lead to trouble."

"Even men?" said Kama wonderingly.

" _Especially_ men," said Koharu sternly.

And she took Kama around to different gravesites, specifically ninja KIA gravesites, where they cleaned the graves of people they had never met, learning their names. "Death constantly dogs ninja life," said Koharu quietly. "Respect those who have died for their people, and never forget that." Kama nodded, unusually sad and somber.

And Koharu taught Kama about the Will of Fire.

"Konoha has something called the Will of Fire. It states that this whole village is a family, and we all must support and defend one another. The Hokage is the emblem of the Will of Fire. Elected by popular vote as the strongest of us all, the Hokage carries the whole village on their shoulders."

Kama looked out over the setting sun, from where they were sitting out in one of Granny Koharu's gardens. All this spirituality had made her very reflective.

"... _I_ want to be Hokage," she said at last.

Koharu paused. "... What?"

"That's how I'm going to prove myself to the village!" Kama straightened, decided. "I'm going to follow those teachings and become Hokage!"

"No woman has ever become Hokage before," Koharu cautioned, reserved.

Kama looked over and sighed, faux casual, as if the very sentence exasperated her. "And that matters, why?" she asked.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note:_ Someone asked, so I thought I'd reiterate.

There are refrigerators in Naruto. And computers. And televisions. And movie theaters.

Kishi himself has said that the only modern conveniences the Naruto world doesn't have are in travel, warfare, and weaponry.

None of what I'm about to relay to you is far-fetched (though I did modernize the tech somewhat to meet our high-brow, twenty-first-century standards).

This has been a public service announcement.

* * *

8.

Kama continued on her quest to discover her more human side. Koharu recommended she try a whole bunch of hobbies, and form a few she really, really enjoyed.

And from there, Kama had great fun. She tried everything from bungee jumping to throwing pots, no longer impeded by the idea that she was "not good" at something.

She found several things she enjoyed doing.

She started an ASMR vlog, posting smiling, soft-spoken videos filled with tapping noises. She started doing karaoke and taking hip hop dancing classes in the next town over. She began growing windowsill gardens and potted plants all over her apartment, and found she liked gardening. She also liked painting, and began painting the walls of her apartment as well as various canvases - painting was messy and creative and that was part of the reason why she enjoyed it.

Under Koharu's encouragement, she also took to reading - nonfiction and articles as well as fiction.

Her favorite music was pop and hip hop. She liked horror movies, but also movies that taught her something or made her think. She liked girly stuff such as sweets, stuffed animals, nail art, and facial masks. At the same time, she also loved crossword and sudoku puzzles. She adored green tea and soupy, medicinal ramen or curry.

She did flower pressing albums with Hinata, and she was a good cook and a practicing Zen Buddhist. Her apartment became eccentric, brightly colored, and eclectic, a reflection of her various interests.

* * *

"We will now start your clan training," said Koharu, all business, as Kama stood before her jumping from foot to foot in excitement. "We start with seals.

"Seals are the Uzumaki clan specialty. They are, simply put, symbols that can be used in chakra related ways."

Kama raised a hand, frowning. "So how do I use them in combat?"

Koharu smirked. "Let's look at the scrolls."

Seals, it turned out, could do a whole wide variety of things. There were what were called the 6 Points of Sealing. They were:

\- Containment/release seals, especially useful tattooed onto the palms to suck up/redirect attacks.

\- Chakra augmentation or suppression seals.

\- Seal barrier shields.

\- Adamantine Sealing Chains, capable of containing even the hugest beings of chakra.

\- Seal trap tags, good hidden in the surrounding environment to suck up unsuspecting passersby.

\- Seals tattooed onto the body for biting-healing. An Uzumaki could bite themselves and flood their body with chakra to heal quickly, but they could also have other people bite them, flood chakra through them, and heal them up just as quickly.

This required some explanation. The Uzumaki had amazing amounts of chakra and amazingly huge chakra coils. That was their bloodline gift. It made chakra control difficult for them, but it did have its advantages. Uzumaki had enormous endurance, longevity, and chakra potency.

So they could afford to flood a person with chakra without killing themselves from chakra exhaustion.

Really good Uzumaki could even place or remove a seal just by touching the victim, which was part of what made their chakra suppressing seals so deadly. Kama also learned about sealing scrolls, inside which many items or weapons could be placed, as well as how to use them, and she learned and studied seal theory. She was, of course, particularly interested in jinchuuriki seals.

Kama worked hard at practicing her clan's techniques, and got seals tattooed onto her body as she mastered them. Pretty soon, her body was flooded with all shape and manner of seal tattoos.

* * *

Hinata and Koharu first met when they both went with Kama to Ichiraku's together.

"Hinata-san. It's nice to meet you." Koharu nodded her head politely.

"I-it is good to meet you too, Koharu-sama," said Hinata softly, bowing low.

"Come on, come on!" Kama grabbed the two more formal people by the hands and tugged them along eagerly toward the ramen joint. Hinata-chan and Granny Koharu were both gently exasperated, but they shared a look with each other and smiled.

Kama chatted with her friends and with the Ichirakus - Teuchi and his teenage daughter Ayame - for quite a while, eager and happy and bubbly. She talked and talked and talked.

At last, Teuchi said, "You seem different, Kama. I like the changes." Ayame nodded, smiling.

Kama paused and blushed. "Oh," she said, beaming. "Thanks."

Koharu watched with a critical eye. Yes, Kama had improved enormously.

It was almost time for her brand-new kunoichi look. And it was time for her to start ninja combat skills as well.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note:_ Someone asked, so I thought I'd clarify - this chapter in no way ends Kama's ninja training.

* * *

9.

"The Uzumaki have their own style of taijutsu, which you will learn at a later date," said Koharu. "But before that I want you to get squared away on basic, Academy, standard style ninja taijutsu. The kind of hand to hand combat any ninja worth their salt, even one specializing in long distance attacks, could do.

"So I'm going to show you the basic punches, kicks, and stances, and then you're going to spar with me. Over and over and over again."

Kama raised her hand in the training field behind Granny Koharu's place. "Will that be painful?"

"Yes," Granny Koharu said flatly.

"Hooray! Let's get started!" said Kama brightly, raising a fist in preemptive triumph.

There were four stances - defensive, offensive, standard, and ready for anything - as well as several different kinds of strikes, depending on where you were hitting. Muscle, jutting facial bones, etc. All required different kinds of attacks. Granny Koharu also specialized in teaching Kama nerve and muscle attacks, which required light agility and not brute strength. (Kama was taught to avoid brute strength contests; most men could beat her there.) Kama learned a lot about anatomy the hard way during spars over the following weeks.

But ninja taijutsu could be surprisingly fun. Anything went - there was no such thing as cheating. You could attack someone's eyeballs, or sweep their feet. People flowed in and out of different stances and moves according to the rhythm of the fight, and you could jump and throw yourself at weird angles, and it was a bit like an impromptu, unscripted dance.

Sparring with a master ninja was painful, but Kama had a good time, and with a willing sparring partner and her continued physical exercise she improved very quickly. She was, after all, a kinesthetic learner.

Kama was small, but she was light, quick, speedy, crafty, and good at thinking on her feet. Soon enough, she was even surprising Koharu a time or two.

One thing Koharu taught her right away. Kama went to throw a gentle, hooked punch at her Granny, not wanting to really hit an old lady and expecting spars to be gentler than real fighting. Granny Koharu blocked and then flew out in an attack real fast, actually knocking Kama to the ground.

Kama lay there, dazed and surprised.

"Is the enemy going to go easy on your ally? No? Then you don't either!" Koharu snapped sternly, severe. "By fighting your hardest against them, you could save their life out in the field! Especially if they are a woman who is looked down upon - it is your duty to help them improve! Understand?"

So Kama stood back up, a new determination filling her eyes - and she flung herself out again wild, fast, and hard. She never made the mistake of being too gentle again.

Going all out in a fight, the adrenaline and rush of it, was fun for Kama, and so she found she didn't mind the change. Soon enough, she became a seasoned and expert standard taijutsu fighter.

It helped that her standard bar was raised incredibly high. During her peak years, Koharu had been the most powerful female Jounin in her age group.

* * *

Kama tried to get Hinata to spar with her and, although Hinata's confidence had improved under Kama's friendship, no matter what Kama said, Hinata would never spar with her. Hinata was timid and had performance anxiety and she hated fighting.

"It is why I'm not the heir of my clan," she whispered once, and at that Kama had no words for a moment.

"Well - you could prove yourself to your Dad! _Become_ the heir of your clan!" Kama insisted. That would be the Kama thing to do.

But Hinata shook her head. "No. You don't understand. I'm too weak," she murmured, repeating words she'd heard before.

Kama looked sad, almost disappointed. "You're only as weak as you make yourself, Hinata-chan," she said, and for a moment Hinata did look torn.

Kama decided she'd just have to keep telling Hinata she could change until Hinata believed her. Kama firmly believed in change. Look how far she had come under Granny Koharu's tutelage.

* * *

Next, Kama was led to a part of Koharu's house she had never been before: a dance studio. It had a long polished wood floor, a stretching bar, and big floor length mirrors.

"I am going to teach you Nihon Buyo dance," said Koharu from the center of the floor. "Dance is an incredibly important part of our culture. There are great myths about the gods Susanoo and Amaterasu dating all the way back to the beginning of our history, about dance bringing light and good spirits to the world.

"So you will learn Nihon Buyo dance, and shamisen string playing. This is the next part of your seduction training. Dancing can be very seductive, as can music itself."

Kama was excited to get started - she already enjoyed dancing! Nihon Buyo dancing turned out to be very interesting. The body was very asymmetrical all the time, full of twists and turnings, the dancer waving their sensu fan as they twisted their bodies about close to the ground.

Acting was also a part of Nihon Buyo; each dance told a story. The purpose of many of the movements was to expressively bring about the tale.

"The purpose of every seductive dance," said Koharu, "is to seem as shy and mischievous and mesmerizing as possible. To pull in the target."

Kama found she was very good at this. She smiled slightly, holding an imaginary viewer with her eyes, moving sensually about, half hidden behind her fan, shy and playful, eyes sparkling. She did, as she'd thought, have a good time - laughing at herself and at the poor sucker she was dancing for in her head.

She always put her fan before her, knelt and bowed before her instructor, Granny Koharu, at the end of her dance. The distance between herself and the fan signified the distance between herself and dance mistress Utatane Koharu, but the bow signified respect for all parties. If there was one thing Granny Koharu had taught Kama, it was respect for masters and elders. Even in her sixties, Granny Koharu still moved with a kind of dignified elegance Kama knew she did not yet have.

Shamisen playing involved string instrument plucking. She formed calluses on her hands, spending hours hunched over the instrument, plucking away at different strings. She also learned to read sheet music, but after codes, ciphers, and sealing, after all she had read and all the puzzles she had done, sheet music was not so hard. It was a kind of visual puzzle in itself. Koharu recommended she seem more serene and unreachable when playing an instrument, so for this Kama channeled more of her Zen mindset.

But there was more. "This is the first part in your seduction when appearance really comes into play," said Granny Koharu. "You should always, for seduction performances like dances, be dressed in formal kimono, your hair up in a bun decorated with a weapon disguised as a piece of jewelry, and your neck should be painted. The jewelry gives a touch of elegance and also a weapon if you need to make a quick escape. But the kimono and neck painting are all purely for erotic, sensual reasons.

"Mystery is very erotic in our culture, and the kimono leaves much up to the imagination. That is why we say it is erotic. The neck, meanwhile, is seen as the most sensual part of a woman's body - and painting your neck draws attention to it.

"This is all to make you more beautiful and distracting to the man. You can get more out of him that way. Simply dressing well and putting on a beautiful dance or music recital should be all you have to do."

So they went out and bought kimono and jewelry-weapons, Koharu taking Kama through the ins and outs of dressing according to your complexion type. (Kama, for example, was a Spring, so Spring colors would bring out her beauty best.) Koharu also taught Kama how to paint her neck. But they didn't stop once they had finished shopping for a seduction mission.

"You need a kunoichi outfit and new street clothes, do you not?" said Granny Koharu, smiling when Kama gasped in excitement.

And then Kama just went on a wild shopping spree.

For street clothing, she loved wearing bizarre combinations of clothes. One example was a black leather jacket, a tutu, a ponytail, and a scarf. Another example was a diagonally half-short, half-long dress with torn-up pink tights and one side of her hair in a bun while the other side was completely loose.

But her kunoichi outfit was where her true colors came out.

Kama had always been fascinated by the color orange. She admitted this to Koharu, who said, "It's no more ridiculous than some of the things other famous ninja wear. Do you know, orange is the color of poison? Monarch butterflies wear orange to look more dangerous to potential predators."

Inspired by this idea of black and orange as a metaphor for poison, Kama chose a poison orange kunoichi dress with an exposed midriff that just covered her navel. This, she decided, was where her hitai-ate would be hung, showing off her hips. Meanwhile, the seal tattoos were still visible all over her body, and above them she put on a suit of black fishnet skin-tight full-body armor. It went under her kunoichi dress.

Her waist-length blonde hair went in long pigtails, a playful, cutesy touch to a deadly dangerous outfit.

Kama smiled at herself in the mirror: taijutsu master and seal-mistress extraordinaire.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm on my way."

Koharu smiled in the mirror behind her.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note_ : Training is starting to go much faster now that characters and character relationships are more established. With that said, not all chapters will be as "go, go, go" as this. I will try to alternate chapters which focus on one big issue, and chapters which focus on a long line of smaller issues in something like a series of drabbles.

Hinata is not featured heavily in this chapter, but she will be in the next one.

I hope you enjoy.

 _Second Author's Note:_ Someone reminded me, I forgot to put this in.

I made a few changes to the Uzumaki massacre.

I don't think any Hidden Village, even Konoha or Uzu, could survive four major powers hitting them at once. So in my idea of the Third War, there's Suna and Iwa, then Konoha and its allies. I just think that's more realistic.

I also want Suna to have been involved in the Uzumaki massacre for part 2 plot related reasons.

* * *

10.

"Your next academic lesson will be in history and geography. We will do a complete study of the geography of the Elemental Countries, and the history of the Elemental Countries - of course, with a special emphasis on Konoha and Fire Country," said Koharu. Kama was sitting below her at the kitchen table. "You will label a map, write essays, and take tests. You will learn about wars, alliances, and everything in between. Yes?"

Kama had raised her hand.

"Can I also learn about the history of the Uzumaki and Uzu?" she asked.

Koharu looked saddened for a moment. "Of course," she said quietly.

From there, Kama really struggled with history. Not with geography - visually memorizing and labeling a map was easy for her. She didn't really have a problem with the lectures or note taking either - Koharu had taught her note taking skills, and Koharu-sensei always kept the lectures really interesting and easy for a child to understand. They went from the chaotic Warring States period, through the formation of countries and Hidden Village military bases, and into the Great Ninja wars. Alliances were broken and formed. Interesting stuff.

No, what Kama struggled with was memorizing history and regurgitating it back on a test.

She didn't do well memorizing auditory, non-visual information, and this went way beyond stamping in a certain pattern to remember a code. She studied hard, and still failed. It was extremely frustrating. Especially because, particularly with the information about her parents and clan, she did really _want_ to do well on this.

Finally, after she failed the first two tests, Koharu sat her down and taught her about flowcharts. "You can make different dates flow into each other with arrows, and then memorize that visual chart," she said. "Kind of like you memorized the map for geography."

Kama proved good at memorizing even the most visually complex flow charts, and so this helped her history memorizing skills significantly.

She learned more and more about the Uzumaki and the history of her own people - for example, she learned their swirl symbol, and started seeing it around on Konoha ninja Chuunin vests, an emblem of the Senjuu's friendship with the Uzumaki and Konoha's closeness to the former Uzu. She also learned that the Uchiha clan, and the Senjuu-Uzumaki, shared a bitter rivalry - and she learned about the great Uchiha massacre that had wiped out most of that clan. Uchiha were now as scarce as Uzumaki themselves.

She didn't want to risk people speculating by seeing her wear the Uzumaki clan symbol openly around on her clothes - she wanted to avoid outing her parentage to the entire world unless she absolutely had to, as she had learned through her history lessons just how many enemies her parents and clan had made during the Third War. (Her father, the mythical Golden Flash, had decimated entire Suna and Iwa armies single handedly, her mother had become known as the Red Hot Habanero because of her viciousness and short temper and her whirl of red hair, and her clan of course had been seen as so dangerous that they were purposefully slaughtered by two combined armies - and they'd taken a _lot_ of Suna and Iwa ninja down along with them.) However, she did add her Uzumaki ancestors and relatives to the Buddhist shrine in her home, and she draped an Uzumaki clan symbol tapestry on one of her bedroom walls.

Hinata never asked about this, though she must have guessed - just like she never asked about the way Kama was sometimes whispered about in the streets. Kama was grateful for that. Hinata knew when not to push an issue, and she accepted Kama just as she was, secrets and all.

* * *

"Granny, I don't know about this." Kama was perched on a rooftop, about to try to jump to the opposite rooftop. She was also going to have to learn to jump between trees. There was a mattress in the alley between the two buildings.

Kama perched on the red swirl roof above the small white stucco building and stared down at the ground far below her dubiously.

"You have to be able to jump," Koharu mandated from the ground, hands on her hips. "A true and expert ninja could jump from the top of the huge wooden wall surrounding the village, and all the way to the ground."

"A true and expert ninja is insane," said Kama flatly.

"It's not like you to be so cautious and afraid, Kama," said Koharu curiously, half-mocking.

Kama took a deep, Zen-like breath, and sighed. "Alright," she said, faux bored, rolling her eyes. "Here I go to my death."

And she jumped.

* * *

"Your next kunoichi art is in calligraphy, or shodo. You will learn the perfect, creative writing of characters, as well as zengo and haiku," said Koharu at the table.

"Creative? Zengo? Haiku?" Kama was puzzled. She wasn't even sure where to start.

"I say creative because, although the characters do have to be perfect, a shodo piece should also be creative. The words should all flow out at once, and it is considered sacrilege to back and touch up the work later. You can use any combination of all three kinds of characters - kanji, hiragana, and katana. Just make sure they're meaningful and say what you want them to say.

"Zengo and haiku will be the particular things you write using shodo. Zengo are Zen Buddhist sayings - 'Nyoze', for example, or 'to take life as it is, not as we want it or don't want it to be.'

"Haiku is poetry. The syllable structure is five for the first line, seven for the middle, five for the last. The idea of the seven should act as a bridge between the idea of the two fives. You may see haiku written in three lines to make it look simpler, but true haiku should all be in one line.

"The other kind of hanging scroll involves ink painting. You are a painter, so we will go through a brief lesson as well in how to paint using ink."

So Kama learned about the various kinds of ink, brushes, and calligraphic paper, and then she got to practicing techniques. Her handwriting was messy, she got ink all over herself all the time, and she made countless errors. Koharu would keep barking and barking at her until she got better and better.

This was one of the hardest things for Kama, because in mastering the art of hanging scrolls she also had to master perfectionism, something she wasn't too terribly good at. Once she had started to get the hang of it though, many weeks later, it became kind of fun. Kama enjoyed puzzles and being creative, and the art of hanging scrolls involved both.

* * *

"There is another kind of lesson only kunoichi learn, and I want you to guess what it is," said Koharu.

Kama straightened. "Okay."

"So, learning the techniques of romantic seduction is important. Looking beautiful and alluring on an infiltration mission is important. But if you're going to seduce a foreign man, what's also important?"

"... Researching him," Kama realized, "and his culture."

"Exactly," said Koharu, nodding. "Researching the individual man and his personality, you will have to do yourself, though you will get lessons later in how to act depending on what kind of man you are dealing with. But for now, we can teach you about the cultures of other countries and Hidden Villages - and that is exactly what I plan to do.

"Take our current closest ally, Suna, for example. Suna is in Wind. It is a desert place, with a very strict spirituality. The Kazekage are seen as minor gods and the current Kazekage even insists on only being addressed while the person is kneeling, from behind a screen and a veil. This strictness means the people of Suna are more serious, value tradition highly, and have a strict code of hierarchy and a complex system of honor. They do not always agree with our more… idealistic view of ninja life.

"They value water greatly, because water is very limited there. Their traditional clothes involve more sashes, soft cloth, and rich colors. Their buildings are rounded adobe. Sandstorms happen there often. Their village is protected in a valley by great walls of rock on all sides. Their country's signature food are Sand dumplings, available only in the country of Wind.

"Not all of this will come up during an infiltration mission, of course, but you don't know which parts might be. So it's best to be prepared for all of it.

"You will also learn how to interact with other foreigners as a Konoha ninja. For example, if an enemy ninja ever invades Konoha wearing a foreign hitai-ate, it is your job to ask them their purpose in the village or else make defensive maneuvers against them - even if they are from an allied village. That's why ambassadors from foreign villages wear their pass badge somewhere on their clothes."

Kama nodded seriously, taking this in. She was curious, she would admit - particularly morbidly curious about Suna and Iwa.

* * *

"Your next clan training will be in ninjutsu," said Granny Koharu out in a training field near a river. "The Uzumaki, whirlpool people, specialize in wind and water ninjutsu. You should be exceptional in both - your mother's specialty was water, your father's was wind. Uzumaki have the unique ability to pull water from the air, but before that we'll have you master taking water from this river.

"So here's how the training will go. First you will learn water and wind separately. Then you will learn to pull water from the air.

"And finally, you will learn how to use water and wind together in the infamous Uzumaki Whirlpool technique, an ability only your clan will be able to grasp. A gigantic whirlpool of water is smashed into the victim from the air, drowning them."

Kama smirked - looked down at the hand seals on the scroll, and went through them.

They learned something important. In small techniques that required lots of control, Kama sucked.

The big techniques she could get in a matter of hours. If it weren't for her bad chakra control, she would be what traditional ninja called _genius_.

* * *

"For the weaponry section, you will use a variety of different weapons, keeping them inside your sealing scrolls in your weapons pouches," said Koharu. "Traditional modern Academy teachings involve you learning kunai and shuriken, as well as some other basic tools and maybe one or two special weapons.

"I do not agree with this. In Warring State times, you would have had to be a master of several both close and long range weapons. That is what I intend for you."

So they went through chains and cords, sticks and staffs, swords, kunai knives, shuriken, senbon needles, ninja wire, and explosive tags. Kama went through aiming at long distances for the face and arms, and fighting at close distance, light, speedy, and strong. She mastered swinging ninja wire to wrap around a target, prepped explosive tags and ran in series after series of explosions. She sparred with Koharu herself, which was again painful, but helped her improve quickly.

She also practiced unsealing weapons from sealing scrolls and swinging them upward to hit all in one quick, clean movement.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

To teach Kama tea ceremony, Koharu simply took her through a tea ceremony herself.

Kama and Hinata arrived at the teahouse that Granny Koharu had formally invited them to early in the morning, before the ceremony was due to start. The whole teahouse had to be cleaned and fresh, the meal and tea making items prepared, the flower arrangement created, the hanging scroll made or selected, incense had to be burnt beforehand, the teahouse garden had to be pristine, and everyone had to be dressed either in formal clothes or kimono.

Koharu-sama - as she was within the quiet teahouse - took them through every step of these preparations, and then a few minutes before the ceremony was due to start, Hinata and Kama retreated and became guests.

"Relax, Kama-chan," Hinata whispered. "Just keep silent and still and follow my lead." Hinata, who had done tea ceremony before with her formal Hyuuga clan, had been invited as the first guest, so that Kama could watch and observe Koharu and Hinata interacting.

"Silent and still has never been my strong suit," Kama muttered wryly, being humorous to cover up the fact that she was nervous despite herself.

Hinata smiled. "You'll do fine," she said. "You heard Koharu-sama. We'll stop and direct you if you are doing anything wrong."

"Kay." Kama grinned - one of the things Hinata had always admired about Kama was how cheerful and determined she was in the face of adversity and fear, even a small struggle and fear like this one.

Hinata was slowly coming to the realization that she wanted to be more like the girl who had become her best friend - a best friend who she kept a secret from her entire clan, a best friend who plainly had secrets of her own that Hinata could guess at. Secrets that had huge implications.

They took their first tea in the waiting area, and then proceeded outside to the waiting bench in the teahouse garden. Koharu came up to them, and there came a silent bow between host and guests. The guests ritually purified their hands and mouths with water, as before entering a Buddhist temple, and then they proceeded inside, where the scroll was hung and a meal was given to them. No talking was done except for a few precise, pre-prepared sentences, and they kneeled in seiza style the entire time.

Kama fidgeted a lot, clearly almost desperate to break the silence.

They ate wagashi cakes after the meal, and then went to the outdoor bench. When the gong was rung, they purified their hands and mouths once more and went back inside, where the powdered matcha green tea was prepared and served to them, and where a chabana flower arrangement was now set in place of where the scroll had been.

There were two kinds of tea: thick tea and thin tea. Once the tea had been drunk, the tea items were washed and then the guests were allowed to admire them carefully before they were put away. The guests left the teahouse, the host bowed at the door, and the ceremony was over.

This was the factual sequence of events. But none of that captured the heart of tea ceremony.

All the little symbols, tea items and scroll and flower arrangement, had to match up and give off the exact same message and energy. Tea ceremony was silent, but there must be grace, serenity, and beauty in the silence, especially on the part of the host, whose job it was to remember every step of the ceremony perfectly. Koharu was an expert, Kama noticed, even through her fidgety impatience - she gave an elegant turn of the wrist, revealing it underneath the kimono sleeve, at exactly the right moment; she tilted her neck at exactly the right angle. It was a little mesmerizing for a young, inexperienced, impatient girl.

Hinata, too, was perfect. She remained calm and respectful the entire time, and always knew just what to say and do at every step of the process.

Kama despaired at first of ever meeting that standard of peacefulness and perfection.

* * *

Koharu put her through tea ceremony and tea ceremony of her own, throughout the coming seasons, forcing her to be host countless times and correcting each and every mistake.

As Kama had predicted, there were a lot of them.

Kama was impatient, loud, and fidgety. She forgot things, and spilled tea, and rushed everywhere. She was a mess. Koharu told her to channel Zen, for tea ceremony and Zen Buddhism were closely intertwined, and Kama tried to, but it was hard.

"I knew this would be difficult," said Koharu. "Here, you learn one of your hardest lessons: _patience_."

It was a lesson that only came slowly, with time.

After she'd learned to tolerate the slow, sedate, still silence of tea ceremony, though - after she'd approached it sort of like she did meditating - there was a kind of beauty to it, she could admit. To being graceful, giving the exact perfectly timed sensual movement, to being silent and smiling and serene, to having all the little artistic surrounding details match up just perfectly, to choosing the perfect kimono and painting the neck delicately.

To make things more complicated, however, ceremonies varied depending on time of year and even time of day. She had to memorize each kind of ceremony, something she really only mastered by doing them over and over and over again for years on end.

Some of them were very beautiful, though. Outside cherry blossom viewing tea ceremonies in the spring, for example, or cool riverside outdoor tea ceremonies in the summer. Yobanashi tea ceremonies, nighttime ceremonies, were completely dark except for lit candles in the tea room and lit lanterns in the teahouse garden. Akatsuki tea ceremonies, winter dawn ceremonies to herald the coming of spring and a new year, and Yuuzari tea ceremonies, summer dusk tea ceremonies to herald the ending of summer, were also amazing to experience in person.

It helped that she was doing something she loved - hand crafting perfect green tea. In this technique, Kama would not satisfy herself until her bowl of green tea was absolutely delicious.

She slowly became more patient, peaceful, and smiling through her practice of tea ceremony. Solemnity, Kama never did grasp the way Koharu had done. She was not good with solemnity. She always preferred the cheerful.

But patience, she did form.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

"Your next academic subject is chakra theory," said Koharu.

"That sounds complicated and boring," Kama announced, amused.

"What if I told you that you could learn the difference between yokai chakra and human chakra?" said Koharu slyly. "The difference between your own chakra and the demon fox's?"

Kama straightened. "... Okay," she said, grinning. "I'll bite. Let's learn this shit."

After having to memorize hundreds of little tea ceremony movements and thousands of historical dates, not much could frighten Kama anymore.

* * *

For poison and herbal medicine training, Koharu took Kama out to the forests around Konoha and showed her which plants to pick, what did which things. She even gave Kama several charts full of plants in the different Elemental Countries for future reference, each one labeled with what they could do.

Then they would go back to Koharu's kitchen with the plants and become mad scientists, mixing up herbal medicines, poisons, and antidotes. Kama was trained in looking for physical signs of illness or poison, was taught what different poisons looked and smelled like, and Koharu put her through several imaginary scenarios in which she had to deduce not only what the victim had, but which concoction would cure it.

She then had to mix up the correct concoction in a certain amount of time - supposedly, before the "victim" was due to die.

Finally, Kama was taught to lace all her own weapons with poison.

"Does all this antidote and herbal medicine stuff really matter?" Kama asked curiously. "If I can just have someone bite me and heal them instead?"

"You and I both know that flooding your body with that much chakra, let alone someone else's, is too dangerous to do except in bad circumstances," said Koharu. "So for milder healing, you learn things like this.

"Plus, poison is just a useful general thing to know about anyway."

* * *

"Your final academic lesson -" Koharu paused when Kama started cheering. She never had let go of her chattery, bubbly persona. "Is in the ninja rules of etiquette. There are fifty. You must memorize them all.

"But here's the trick: you must also tell me, in tests, what each rule means."

"What each rule means?" Kama cocked her head, squinting thoughtfully.

"Yes, exactly. Take this rule: A ninja must never show emotion in the field of battle.

"On the surface, it might seem like the rule wants you to be an emotionless robot. But look again. 'On the field of battle.'

"In other words, the rule is telling you to hide your emotions until you get to a private place. It is not telling you not to have them.

"There are other rules. To look underneath the underneath, which means to analyze everything down to the last little detail and be ever observant. To always finish the mission. To obey your superiors above all else.

"This means that if your superior orders you to break the law, the superior will get in trouble. Not you."

"Are we going to learn team tactical movements?" Kama asked thoughtfully.

"Yes. Tests on team tactical movements and management will also be covered in this section."

* * *

"You are almost finished with your introductions to clan training," said Koharu. "Now we come to the Water Weaving Fist.

"It is a specific Uzumaki style of taijutsu fighting that's meant to mimic the movements of water. Water flows around anything, can shape itself to any situation, can find even the tiniest crack and slip inside, all without ever ruining its integrity.

"Water Weaving Fist is like this. You move around the target instead of blocking directly; in this way, you are never actually touched. Fighting back with Water Weaving Fist means using fast, agile movements, attacking and then retreating before the opponent can make contact with you. It means being quick, bendy, and tricky, something you are already good at.

"You will learn the stances and movements from the scrolls, and then I will spar with you using standard Academy style taijutsu. Water Weaving against Academy style. Got it?"

Kama nodded, determined.

And soon enough, they were flying at each other in whirls of movement: Konoha standard versus Uzumaki.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

Terrified, sitting in the bathroom, staring at the blood everywhere, Kama grabbed her cell phone, hand shaking, and called Koharu-sensei.

"Granny?" she said. "You have to get over to my place, now. I - I'm in the bathroom. I'm bleeding internally. I think I'm dying."

Kama was breathing deeply, trying not to panic.

* * *

Koharu practically flew over the rooftops toward Kama's apartment, her mind racing, face serious. She thought she knew what the problem was, but just in case…

She forced her way through the door, hurried into the bathroom - and sighed, relaxing against the doorframe.

"It won't stop coming out," said Kama, pale and petrified. "Granny, what if I pass out?"

"Relax, Kama. You're not dying. This is part of being a woman. It's called menstruating, or being on your period. And it will happen for a solid week without you ever passing out."

"I can pee blood for a week and not die?!" Kama yelped.

"Technically, pee comes out of your urethra, not your uterus," Koharu sighed, and Kama looked confused. "But yes. Essentially. I know. Women are terrifying," she said when Kama stared. "Let's clean you up because right now you don't even know the half of it."

* * *

Granny Koharu helped Kama clean up, and then showed Kama a diagram at her kitchen table as she explained all the gory details of female anatomy to her. Kama was suitably disgusted.

"I'm never having sex _or_ a child!" she insisted, face twisted. "It sounds painful and disgusting! Why don't men have to go through all that painful, disgusting stuff?!" she whined plaintively.

"Because women are tougher and we can handle it better," said Koharu stoically. "Think about your mother, Kama. She had to give birth to a child and hold a jinchuuriki seal in at the same time."

Kama shuddered. "It's not like I'll have a child anyway," she said, sobering. Koharu gave her a curious look. "Not after what happened to my mother." Kama looked somber.

After a moment, Koharu gave a small smile. "And yet Mito gave birth to several children and not a single thing happened once," she pointed out. "Statistically, the odds are actually in your favor." Kama looked up, surprised and hopeful. "You don't have to have a child, Kama," said Koharu. "But if you don't, it should be because _you_ don't want one."

Kama nodded. "Granny, can I ask you something else?" she asked after a moment.

"Go ahead," said Koharu.

"Is it normal to feel weird about… you know… your curves growing?" Kama muttered. It had been a problem for her lately.

"... Yes," said Koharu after a moment, nodding. "But I believe all women should practice something called body positivity. We should love our body for what it is, rather than dislike it for what it is not. Feed it healthy food, keep it well exercised. Take care of it. That's the important thing.

"Curves growing is just a natural part about being a woman," said Koharu, shrugging. "Everybody goes through it."

"It's scary," said Kama. "It makes me unsure of myself and I don't like it." The normally super-confident Kama was scowling, a little shy.

"I'll tell you a secret," said Koharu. "The more confident you are in your body, and the more flirtatious you are with it, the more you can fool and trick men."

"Really?!" Kama squealed.

"Really," said Koharu, nodding with faux solemnity. "There's one more thing you should know about," she added after a moment, uncomfortable. "And that is rape. Rape is when sex is forced on you in any way, and sometimes it happens to kunoichi out in the field.

"The most important thing to remember about rape is that it is a crime, it is wrong, and if it happens to you, it was _never_ your fault. No matter what the circumstances. Women are not seen to be as strong as men in our society, even though we train more, and we don't need to be blaming ourselves for rape on top of everything else. Understand?"

After a moment, Kama nodded seriously. "I'm going to change people's minds about women," she insisted fiercely, and Koharu smiled.

Koharu then took her through all the basics for being a woman as a kunoichi. She introduced her to tampons and all-day pain relievers, and kunoichi period kits that fit neatly and slid inside weapons pouches. She also took her through the basics of sports bras, deodorant without the antiperspirant component, and shaving.

The final thing Koharu taught Kama was more fun. She taught her about how to find the correct kind of makeup for her complexion type, and how to apply it for herself. They had fun giggling girlishly and applying makeup in the mirror, purposefully choosing the waterproof kinds. Kama chose pink sorbet lip gloss, peach blush and cream foundation, and cornflower eyeliner that brought out the blue subtly in her eyes.

* * *

Kama jumped from foot to foot absent-mindedly near the dining counter at Ichiraku's. "Thanks for helping me with this, Ayame," she told the waitress, Ichiraku Ayame, an older girl.

"No problem. Us girls gotta help each other out," said Ayame, smiling. "So you said she'd be coming soon -?"

"Oh! There she is! Hinata-chan!" Kama called, beaming and waving.

"What is it, Kama-chan?" Hinata asked in surprise, coming over. "You said you needed to talk to me about something?"

"Hinata-chan, you don't have a mother either," said Kama intently, putting her hands on an alarmed Hinata's shoulders. "Therefore, it is my duty as your closest female friend to give you some very important information."

So Ayame and Kama took a worried and confused Hinata into the back of the shop, and gave her The Facts. A few minutes later, Hinata had gasped, blushing and horrified.

"EEEEE! Really?!"

* * *

Ayame recommended that the three of them have a sleepover to celebrate their budding womanhood. "Being a woman is a good thing," she told them, smiling and winking.

Neither of them knew what to expect upon entering Ayame's bedroom, but what they got was actually pretty fantastic. They had snacks, did each other's nails, screamed through each other's scary stories, made pillow forts, threw glitter pretty much everywhere, and played Twister with gobs of peanut butter.

"This is so much fun!" Kama cheered, running around the bedroom and cackling madly.

Hinata sweat-dropped as she watched, but Ayame was smiling. "She's having fun, yes?" she told Hinata as they watched Kamaboko, and at last Hinata smiled too. It was hard not to, watching someone with so much enthusiastic energy.

Two things came of this:

First, Ayame became an older sister figure, Ayame-nee-chan, for Hinata and Kamaboko.

And second, sleepovers were added to flower picking and pressing and to visiting Ichiraku's on the list of things Hinata and Kama liked to do together for fun.


	14. Chapter 14

14.

"Your next series of lessons will be in the old ninja arts," said Koharu. "These upcoming skills are very important in being a stealthy spy and in tricking other people as ninja."

Kama was taught how to properly bind an enemy or victim, and then how to break out of any kind of bindings herself. Koharu would stand there and time her as, in a true magic trick, she had to break her way out of everything from ropes to chains in under five minutes.

She was also taught how to sketch vital pieces of information like faces and maps.

Stealth came next. Kama learned how to hide herself within any kind of environment, what tricks to use to disguise her presence to passersby, and she was taught silent walking known as Shadow Steps. She had to walk through leaves, through water, and across wet newspapers, all without making a single tear, ripple, or sound. Koharu would test her by making her break in and out of forbidden places without getting caught.

She started practicing walking silently around her home, too, until she could do it everywhere.

Chameleon cloth was another useful tool she mastered. You could use it to become one with your surrounding environment, covering yourself up completely at the price of losing your eyesight. It had a genjutsu illusion woven within the fabric.

Part of stealth training came traps training. In this training, Kama either had to craft a trap out of her ninja supplies, hide, and make the trap so that Koharu-sensei fell into it. That was part one. Kama was very good at this part.

Part two involved Kama walking around and trying to sense out Koharu-sensei without getting caught in one of her traps, and this part Kama was horrible at. She wasn't very good at noticing the subtle details in her surrounding environment.

She fell for trap after trap, never quite able to sense out her Sensei, and she would be scolded over and over again to look more keenly at her surrounding environment. Kama did get somewhat better at this over time, but Koharu never let her know this. She didn't want to ruin Kama's impassioned determination to become better.

Her next set of tests, she was almost frighteningly good at. She was trained and tested in using psychology to undermine your enemy using the weaknesses hidden inside their personality, and in the methods of espionage and acting inherent in being a spy. Kama was a keen observer of human behavior, so different from how unobservant she was in concrete physical matters, and she always knew just what to do or say to get under the keenest armor in any given situation. She was also an excellent actress and a natural flirt.

Her final piece of training was in tracking and survival training. She tracked Koharu through countless forests, and went with her to the forests around Konoha in hundreds of survival training exercises, given more charts full of plants and animals, learning how to do things like set up a fire and a tent and forage for food out in the wilderness with limited supplies.

Somehow, they always found their way back to civilization again.

* * *

"You have been taught how to track in a rudimentary way already," said Koharu. "Now your final piece of clan training will be in Uzumaki sensing abilities.

"You will learn the Mind's Eye of Kagura, which allows your supernatural levels of chakra to stretch out very far around you, sensing perfectly anything and everything that is going on within that chakra's limits.

"This gives you sensing abilities similar to an activated doujutsu's, or bloodline eye technique's," said Koharu. "Though I'm not letting you off the hook when it comes to sensing genjutsu or traps without this line of defense, and I'm not letting you off the hook in non chakra related tracking…

"Mind's Eye of Kagura should eventually mean you will not need any of those abilities," Koharu admitted.

"So I just have to use and stretch my chakra?" Kama confirmed.

"That's it, but -" Koharu began.

But Kama had already grinned viciously and put her hands in a hand seal. "I can do that," she said.

* * *

There came a knock on Kama's door one day, and just as in the first day they'd met, Kama opened it to find Hinata standing determined on the other side.

"Kama-chan, I've decided I want to spar with you," she said firmly. "I want to be more like you."

"Okay. So you want to get tougher?" Kama confirmed, curious. "Physically, I mean."

"Yes," said Hinata. "Only…" Her confidence faded. She looked down and fiddled with her fingers. "I don't want to hurt anybody," she murmured.

"... You know what I was taught?" Kama asked. Hinata looked up. "That by fighting hard against your friends and family, you're protecting them from being killed out in the field. That going easy on them just hurts them in the long run."

Hinata's eyes had widened.

"So when you spar with me, you're not hurting me," Kama confirmed. "You're saving my life."

Hinata had never thought of it this way before.

So Kama and Hinata began to spar, and slowly Hinata's Byakugan doujutsu and Jyuuken taijutsu style improved through constant sparring with her best friend. And magically, her confidence did too.

Hinata was still quiet and kind, but she became tougher and more confident. She grew without ruining her inner gentle, graceful integrity.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

"Before we get into this final section, there is one more thing I have to prepare you for," Koharu said. "And that is murder."

Kama grew cold.

"Eventually," said Koharu, "you will have to kill another person if you continue on your path as a ninja. This is how it will go. At first, on your rush of adrenaline, it will not bother you. Then, later on, after the adrenaline dies down, it will bother you very much. This is natural.

"Always remember: Did you have to do it?

"If it was your mission, if they were trying to hurt the people you love, then yes you absolutely had to do it. Only kill when you feel you must, Kama, but if you feel you must, forgive yourself. It is what you had to do."

* * *

For their final kunoichi section, Koharu taught Kama how to flirt well, how to make a man fall in love with her over an evening dinner.

They would act out conversations with each other, and Koharu would show Kama what to do, giving her pointers later. Then she would have Kama give an act back to her herself, pretending to be a man and giving her a situation. Koharu taught Kama how to give good massages and play many games, for example, how to make those games flirtatious, and what to do depending on who she was competing against.

"Some men like you to play dumb and ask them for help so they can have their ego stroked," said Koharu. "Other men really like a woman who gives them a challenge. It is your job to decipher what kind of man you are competing against."

They also did training in acting, conversation, and flirtation, but here Kama did not need many pointers. She proved herself to be a natural flirt, mischievous, playful, bubbly, and fun-loving, capable of getting even the most taciturn act to open up and start talking.

Finally, she was trained in how to pretend to drink all night without getting drunk, and how to kill a man in two ways: either by poisoning his food, or by slitting his throat with the hair ornament when his back was turned.

She was also taught how to see the little flaws in any given man so that she could avoid falling in love with a target.

* * *

For their final ninja section, they learned chakra related techniques.

"Most Academy techniques would require a lot of chakra control for an Uzumaki," said Koharu. "So first we are going to teach you three chakra control exercises of increasing difficulty: tree climbing, water walking, and leaf bending."

Kama learned the three over a series of weeks, proving what Koharu suspected about Kama's kinesthetic genius. It helped that she practiced them until she passed out, day after day after day. She moved from channeling chakra to glue herself to steady sideways surfaces (tree climbing), to channeling chakra to steady herself on uneven surfaces (water walking), to coating a leaf with her chakra and bending it to her will (leaf bending).

After she had mastered all three exercises, Koharu taught her how to use that technique to channel chakra into her limbs and make herself faster and stronger. Kama's skill in sparring and fighting improved significantly thanks to these exercises.

Finally, after all that, Kama tried genjutsu breaking and the three Academy ninjutsu: clone, replacement, and transformation. The three ninjutsu were fairly self explanatory, while genjutsu breaking involved sensing wrong things in your environment around you and disrupting your chakra in order to break out of the illusion.

Kama was horrible at genjutsu breaking without Mind's Eye of Kagura. With it, she was frighteningly good at at illusion breaking.

The ninjutsu, however, came easier. By now, Kama's mastery of hand seal accuracy and speed were good, and her stamina was terrifying for a Genin level ninja's. She worked her way from the big ninjutsu down to the smaller ones: first Transformation, then Replacement, then Illusory Clone.

Her techniques were still pretty big - she couldn't funnel her chakra down to making only one clone, for example, but she could make ten - but overall she got it. The Transformation was particularly handy, and the easiest for Kama of the bunch. (She told herself that this was because it required the most chakra, and _not_ because she was conceived near a kitsune demon, which were fabled to be beautiful women excellent at transformation.) She began transforming herself into someone else to go out grocery shopping, for example. And though she had mixed feelings about this - it felt a little too much like giving in - she could not deny so many things became much easier when she pretended to be somebody else.

* * *

"Your training is complete," said Koharu solemnly in a training field one day. "I have taught you all I decided to teach you. The Uzumaki scrolls are now yours by right of mastery.

"You will return to the Academy for its last few days of classes, and then take the Genin Exam with that graduating class - Hinata's class, what would have been _yours_. I expect you to do well, Kama. I have taught you much."

Kama bowed low in a sign of respect. "Thank you, Granny. I won't let you down." This was a promise to herself. After all Granny Koharu-sama had done for her, she would do well.

She would do well, prove the village wrong about her, prove women could be strong, and become Hokage.

* * *

 _Author's Note_ : This particular story is done.

It was meant to be an Academy era training story centered around three women - Kama, Hinata, and Koharu - and that has been accomplished. But fear not, my loyal readers! I have a brand new book, titled simply _Kamaboko_ , planned for Kama's part one. I also plan on doing a _Kamaboko Shippuden_ , following part two. (I even know how I want the series to end!) Other side stories may also happen if I feel so inclined.

I will let you guys know on this story in a brief note when _Kamaboko_ is up and running on this account. Thanks for following this story and thanks for being awesome readers!


	16. Sequel Is Up!

_Kamaboko_ is up and functional on this account!


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